The Squashed Man Who Married a Dragon

Romance is lost or doomed in the bathroom. For an eager husband, who might be expecting a favour or two, and does not want to be crushed under foot, lashed by the cruel tongue or reduced to a quivering, shivering wreck - "remember, the toilet seat!". Raise and lower it like your life depended on it, and never ever, heavens no, leave skid marks inside the W.C. bowl. Next, be clean and groomed, brushed and polished, neat and tidy…this is just for starters. Anticipate her every whim; prostrate your self on the ground so that she can walk all over you, as a God given and natural right. Argue not, praise her often, second-guess her every command and shower her with compliments as you rush to do her every bidding. Even then this won't be enough! A husband’s lot is not to win, but your place in the realm of Martyrs is assured!