I did really enjoy I Stop Somewhere, as much as you can enjoy such a dark and hard hitting story, although it wasn't my favourite dark YA contemporary read. I felt absolutely awful for Ellie throughout this book, and I felt as though my heart was being pulled out of my chest. What happened to her was just awful, and it has really stuck with me months after finishing it. That said, it's not the most memorable story in that the characters aren't all that. The concept and the message behind the book is what really stick out to me rather than the characters or the relationships. I'd definitely recommend this one to people who enjoy hard hitting contemporary books.

Unfortunately, I have not been able to read and review this book.

After losing and replacing my broken Kindle and getting a new phone I was unable to download the title again for review as it was no longer available on Netgalley.

I’m really sorry about this and hope that it won’t affect you allowing me to read and review your titles in the future.

Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity.
Natalie.

Thank you for providing a copy of this book for review however I was unable to open the file for this document unfortunately! Apologies.

A beautifully written, raw and powerful YA book that explores the dark, ugly corners of what its like to be a teenage girl. Carter pulls no punches and the content is often upsetting though never gratuitously so. It's a difficult read on subject matter but it's an amazingly quick read in terms of pace. Considering it puts rape culture under a microscope and shines an unforgiving light on all the horrible building blocks that go into conditioning approved societal behaviour, from when a girl is born. It particularly looks at how girls are constantly subtly told that there bodies do not belong to them. A kick in the face of a book butt highly recommended.

I loved this book. It had me gripped from start to finish, short chapters fluctuating between Ellie's life and death after the guy she loves rapes and kills her. If you couldn't tell already, it's not a light read. The book doesn't skirt around the topics of abuse and rape and manipulation and privilege, nor does it romanticise any of these topics.

Carter portrays Ellie's new reality - trapped in death and unable to do anything about it - in such a gutwrenching, weirdly real way. It did give me a bit of an internal crisis about the notion of life after death: I certainly couldn't be as calm as Ellie, who has no choice but to hang around and watch life carry on without her, her father deteriorating as still no news comes about what happened to her.

I felt that Carter handled the heavy topics very well and scenes of violence and sexual abuse didn't feel gratuitous or too much, nor were they glossed over. We see the whole story through Ellie's eyes: her life, her death, her afterlife, and I felt just as helpless as her, knowing what happened and being unable to break through that fourth wall. A very well-written and thought-provoking, relevant book.

Trigger Warning: This book heavily features rape and sexual violence. Although not graphic, it's clear what's happening.

I cannot even begin to say just how much of an impact I Stop Somewhere by T. E. Carter has left on me. This is an incredibly powerful, but unbelievably heartbreaking novel, and not one I'll be forgetting in a while.

Ellie is dead. She was raped and murdered by the boy she loved, Caleb, and is now stuck here as a ghost, haunting the abandoned house where she died. But she has to watch, time and again, as Caleb and his brother Noah lure more girls to the house and rapes them, too. All she wants is to be found; her body is buried in the back yard, and her father has no idea what's happened to her, but the police stopped looking months ago. Hope comes in the form of one of the most recent victims, Gretchen, who reports the crime, and makes a lot of noise, asking what happened happened to Ellie, certain her disappearance has something to do with Caleb and Noah. But Caleb and Noah's father is a powerful politician with money, and can afford the best attorney. When it comes down to her word against theirs, who will be believed?

I Stop Somewhere is not a book that will be enjoyed. It's a hard, difficult read that, at times, I had to force myself to keep reading, because of how it made me feel. It's beautifully told, but it's absolutely harrowing. The book opens during the rape of a girl Ellie has to witness, and you're forced into facing the horror right from the get-go. Although these scenes - and yes, there are multiple scenes - aren't graphic nor gratuitous, they are written in a way that you know exactly what's happening. There's no turning away for the reader from the crying, the pleas, the violence, the laughter.

I Stop Somewhere is told by Ellie (who is Latina; her mother is Puerto Rican, and her father is of Peruvian descent) in the present, as a ghost, but we also get Ellie's story leading up to her murder. They're told almost like flashbacks, but with Ellie giving commentary on what happened then with what she knows now. Ellie was bullied in middle school because she developed early, and was curvy. They called her fat, they called her a slut, they made her life hell. She is also pretty poor; there's only her Dad, and they live in a town, Hollow Oaks, that is suffering. So many people have been evicted for being unable to pay their bills. There are so many "zombie" houses, houses that have been left empty, houses Caleb and Noah's dad, who also works in real estate, has to make up and fix in order to sell them on for the banks. Ellie's father works double shifts at the store he works at pretty much all the time, and still, they have very little money. Her dad is always completely exhausted, Ellie has mac and cheese from a box for dinner every night, and still the over due bills pile up and up and up. All of Ellie's clothes are discounted, and not quite right, which just adds to the bullying.

During the Summer before she starts high school, she seeks the help of an older neighbour, Kate, who has finished high school. All she wants is to blend in, to not stand out, to not be noticed, and Kate helps her. And it works; she starts high school, and nobody notices her. She can relax into going under the radar. Until she's noticed by Caleb, who tells her she's beautiful. Ellie originally wanted to blend in, but she's also lonely, and with the bullying, her self-esteem is low. She is a naive 14-year-old who is desperate to be loved, desperate to be told she is worthy, and although things don't feel quite right, soon the two are in a relationship. Even though they don't really talk, even though she's not really sure if she likes him as a person. But he wakes up desire in her, which she confuses for love, and Caleb showers her in attention, even if that attention is mostly just kissing, and whatever else Ellie will allow as they relationship develops. And all the while, we, the readers, can see what's going on, while Ellie is oblivious. And she ends up dying for it.

All this we learn in almost alternating chapters, with present day eventually following a police investigation into the rapes of Gretchen, and another girl, Kailey, who came forward after hearing what happened to Gretchen. But there's very little to go on. They can both describe the house, but they don't know where it is - neither girl are from Hollow Oaks; Kailey was visiting, and Gretchen goes to the same college as Noah. And Caleb and Noah have an exceptional attorney; they, their attorney, and their father care nothing for the women and girls who have been hurt. The lack of respect, the ease of which they are disregarded and their lies are constructed is astounding, though not at all surprising. And the rape culture, the ways the investigation is reported, the girls judged and the boys lauded, the actual work the police have to do in order to make a case to be prosecuted... it's devastating.

'I hate that word. I hate it being a part of what I was.
Rape.
It brings with it connotations, assumptions, a whole steamer trunk full of other people's ideas of it, because other people only know it as a word. A concept that's discussed, argued, demonized. If you actually know what it is, if you live it and experience it and know what it is beyond a word, you have to carry that word with you. You're now "rape victim," "rape survivor." Your identity is attached permanently to a word you hate.
I'm also a murder victim, but murder carries with it what it is. People don't debate what defines murder. Politicians don't argue the body's ability to fight off being killed. There's no talk of a "murder culture." No one says that you asked for murder. What you wear doesn't excuse being killed.' (p119)*

The emotions I went through during this novel... it was like a roller coaster with hardly any highs; anger, rage, despair, defeat, the deepest sorrow, the faintest glimmer of hope. I was distraught beyond tears, and felt ravaged by my emotions. I felt physically sick for the first half of the story. So why did I keep reading? Because, although I Stop Somewhere may be a fictional story, rape and sexual violence are a reality for countless people, and I couldn't turn away from their pain. This story may be fictional, but this is their pain, and they deserve to be seen, heard, acknowledged, believed. My reason for reading is much like Ellie's reason for haunting the house she died in.

'I realize now that I stayed because I saw myself in the other girls' eyes. I heard myself in their cries and screams. I needed to listen. I had to experience it over and over again because I needed to give them that. I needed to make sure someone was there for them. I couldn't let them suffer alone like I had.' (p212)*

This book is completely devastating, but it is so powerful, and so, so important. For those whose lives are untouched by rape, sexual assault, sexual violence, it is an education. For those who are survivors of rape, sexual assault, sexual violence, I can attest to the fact that, if you're able to read this book, you will feel seen, heard, acknowledged, believed. Hope can be found in Officer Shannon Thompson, who fights so hard and cares so much, in the community and safe space formed for survivors, in the conscience of a bystander you would never believe would ever doubt. Hope can be found in yourself, in your own strength, through how T. E. Carter makes it clear she sees you, and knows you:

'They targeted us because they thought we were weak. But even the weakest girl has power inside her. She maybe just needs a little guidance to find it.' (p257)*

I Stop Somewhere will break your heart and make you rage and leave you distraught, but it is a book will educate, and - I believe - give strength to those who need it. I simply want to hand out this book to absolutely everyone. If you can, please do read this book. I will leave you with T. E. Carter's dedication:

'To the girls who survive,
To the girls who are found too late,
To the girls who are never found . . .
You are beautiful.
You are loved.
You are believed.'*

*All quotes have been checked against a finished edition of he book, and are correct.

Thank you to Simon & Schuster Children's Books via NetGalley for the eProof.

This book is fantastic. I particularly love how, whilst tackling important topics, it truly delves into the main character's head. The inner thoughts and feels the reader is shown truly make this book a brilliantly written debut.

Every time I put this down it was a struggle to pick back up. Not because the book isn't good, it is <i>very<i/> good, but because it's heavy. It weighed on me. I had to psyche myself up and get in the right frame of mid to read this, something I've never had to do before.

I feel everyone should read this book - not enough people sit there and believe the rape victims and they always sit there and think they deserve it. I feel this story however broke the mould with that and made people think that it can happen to anyone.
when I started this book I felt I would hate it a story about rape how can I relate to that, I don't want to read about that - thats went through my mind then it go complex and the story was written so beautifully and I fell in love with the story of Ellie perhaps I could relate to her in someways - about the desire to be loved by the bad boy that ruins your life.
But I would urge anyone who has been through rape to go and read this book

This was a thought-provoking and often quite difficult read. I think it will divide opinions and get people talking, and I hope it does - voices like Ellie's are voices that need to be heard.

Amazing book and incredibly timely.
Hard subject matter but with campaigns such as #metoo and #time'sup this is something very much in the public consciousness right now.
Very important reading and something that should be compulsory in schools.
Shocking, raw, visceral.

"There has to be an end to this. There has to be a finite number of girls. There has to be a limit to how many times I can hear the word no. There has to be a limit to how many times this can happen".

I don't even know how to convey into words how much this message needed to be spread, and still does, and how much it makes my heart ache to know that these kinds of terrible things get brushed under the carpet, excused or blamed on the victim for something as ridiculous as wearing a pretty dress.

Ellie tells the story of her life, from start to finish, and recounts (as a ghost of sorts) the events leading up to her death and some thereafter. Ellie has a remarkable voice in that she encompasses the teenage vulnerability that so many young people experience - that desire to be pretty, wanted or just to be on someones radar for the right reasons, instead of because you didn't make the cut in this week's "hottest girls" list the guys pass around the class. It kicks you right in the gut.

The author captures perfectly the dismissive, callous nature of popular school kids whilst still showing their complexity too. I'm sure we've all as teenagers felt like a misfit, but even more so been treated as one instead of being embraced for being ourselves. They also capture the dismissive, callous nature of rape perpetrators and, sometimes, that of those looking in from the outside at such a case who poorly judge a girl for her pretty dress or high heeled shoes instead of the perpetrator for their actions.

"There's no talk of a "murder culture". No one says that you asked for murder. What you wear doesn't excuse being killed."

This isn't an easy book to read. There are moments when you're not sure you can even continue with it actually because you feel so angry, and so utterly helpless as the story unravels. And maybe books like these only scratch the surface on what it means to be affected by something so horrific, to be judged for it, to be brushed aside, to be type-cast. But it certainly was compelling, and awful and loud to me - and I wouldn't hesitate to recommend it.

This was such a wonderfully written look at rape culture which also deals with grief, the need to fit in, positions of power in towns and family relationships. Its a very tough read and at times I literally ached for the characters (especially the main character Ellie's father.)
Flashing back and forth between when the rape happened was so effective. We see Ellie as a young girl really close with her father who is bringing her up on his own and then entering her teenage years when she begins to pull away from him and gets her first boyfriend.
Its a very devastating book to read but also an important one.

Ellie loves Caleb but one night can change everything.



Ellie just wanted to blend in at school, fourteen is a hard age after all and so Kate, a neighbour who's older helps her by cutting her hair and sharing clothes as well as learning that Ellie later meets Caleb, brother of Noah a boy she knew. Only when she warns Ellie to be careful does something seem odd.



Told through a split time narrative from Ellie's point of view flicking between past events up to now, do we begin to realise Ellie may have wanted a boyfriend but Caleb always seemed more a possessive predator at times despite odd sweet moments when you don't know someone you should be careful how much you trust them...



Because when #WheresEllieFrias gets created and printed onto flyers by other victims of rape, just how long is it till secrets out?



This book is a harrowing read about rape, murder and the fight for justice and closure for many. Ellie is a typical girl who thought she was falling in love only to fall victim to rape and murder telling her story as she can't pass on without closure for not just herself but her father who's quite rightly upset over her sudden disappearance. It may be saddening for the most part but the novel carries an important message about trust and reading people which is a warning to us all.



Many thanks to the publishers for allowing me to review this book for them!

Fellow book lovers— please can we not let this extremely powerful and raw YA book slip by unnoticed?

I'm sitting here with goosebumps along my arms from the experience of reading this book. It's been so long since I read a YA novel with such strong writing and such a distinct style as I Stop Somewhere; it's hard to believe this is a debut.

I would liken this to another dark contemporary about the ugly corners of teenage girldom - What Girls Are Made Of - which I also believe is greatly under-appreciated. Both books are largely introspective; they crawled under my skin and took me back to all the painful longing, insecurities, and anxiety of my teen years. It's almost an understatement to call this book "dark" or "disturbing" and I must issue a warning to any readers sensitive to scenes of graphic sexual abuse.

Many reviews will tell you that this is a book about rape culture, about misogyny, wealth, class, and privilege. It's true-- it is a book about all of that. But there have been many other books looking at those themes and, especially following the #metoo movement, there will undoubtedly be many more. No, where this book stood out to me was as an intricate portrait of a girl's mind. Ellie desires, hopes, dreams, and regrets throughout the story and I connected to her on a level I almost wish I didn't.

The story moves between the past and present - the present being the aftermath of a horrendous crime that has left Ellie trapped. As someone who was always overlooked and ignored because she was a chubby girl from a poor family, it seems no one is looking for Ellie. She has to witness more and more assaults and hope that somehow someone speaks up so she can be found and others can be saved.

Through Ellie, Carter looks at a number of things. She explores the way society treats girls and puts their personality and lifestyle on trial in rape cases. She explores how easily we dismiss their bodies as things to be taken, cast aside, or consumed as desired. I particularly loved the references to the rhyme of “sugar and spice and everything nice”, calling us to ask what a girl is really made of and concluding, of course, that it's a whole lot of things.

It's a horrible book, to be sure. A horrible, painful, beautifully-written, necessary book. Read it. And when you're done, read the author's note too.