This non-fiction book is all about changing your habits, but in a kind way. It may be that you are overweight, through eating too much of the wrong foods, addicted to alcohol or drugs, or in an abusive, controlling or submissive relationship.
This book gives you strategies to help yourself, through mind-maps, and listing how and why you want to change. The author is a pscychological coach, and therapist, and helps you to understand your self better, and treat yourself kindly.
The only drawback for this proof copy was there were no examples of the maps shown, but how you arrive at them was explained in great detail. I do like the idea of helping yourself, with kindness and understanding, and that someone can tell you that you can make mistakes, but you can correct them, without dropping off course altogether.

I tried to persevere with this book but I just couldn’t get on board with the concept. The author I felt was writing in a slightly condescending manner and so I could not listen or feel comfortable with the help guide. I am sure though that it does make sense to a great many and I do think the concept is there to be followed maybe just written in a different style

I obtained a complementary copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Ok guys, I know I’ve said I’m more of a fiction type of gal when it comes to reading, but NetGalley has so many amazing non-fiction/self-help books to offer that I have succumbed to getting a few!
Shahroo Izadi is a behavioural change specialist based in London. She has experience of working with substance users to help them overcome their addiction. This book is the fruit of what she’s learned through years of working as a psychologist and her first hand experience of eating disorders and food binging habits. It is clear that Shahroo has learned a lot from her clients and herself and this enabled her to draw patterns in terms of what behaviours help people make sustainable changes and what behaviours do not help. Her approach is based on one thing: being kind to oneself through the process of change.
This is a truly amazing book because it can be applied to anything, whether you are trying to control an addiction like drinking, smoking, drug use, gambling etc; or just general bad habits such as talking yourself down. It can be used to overcome anxiety and depression aswell. Shahroo’s insight into why people don’t make the changes that they know they need to make is incredible; and that’s because she’s been there too, battling her own demons.
Shahroo’s approach is based on filling out maps that represent different areas of your life, and as you go through the books you complete more and more maps which highlight what you want to change about yourself, and why it is important that you do so and stick to it. You will then spend a few days or weeks creating the basis for your plan to change, all while remaining positive and kind to yourself. She also professes moderation rather than abstinence. For instance, she uses the example of alcohol abuse a lot, and explains how it isn’t always helpful to go cold turkey as it is more likely to drag you into a relapse. Instead, she encourages people to moderate their alcohol consumption to a point where they can actually enjoy it rather than let it rule their life.
Whether you feel like you need to make changes in your life at this point in time or not, this is an amazing read, especially if you’ve got the habit of talking yourself down constantly, which I know I do. It does force you to pause and look at your thoughts and ask yourself “why do I speak to myself in this mean and counterproductive way?”
The only negative point I have about this book is that I was given an advance copy, which do not contain the example maps for guidance, and that was a bit of a shame as I would have liked to be able to compare my own maps to the ones provided in the book.
I’ll admit that in order to stay on track with my reading, I’ve had to skim through the second half of this book (for some reason it always takes me much longer to read non-fiction than fiction books) but I do intend to go back to it and complete the rest of the maps in my own time. This is a truly inspiring book and I would highly recommend it to everyone.

I love this book,it pulled me in from the start. I have read a lot of self help books over the years but this one feels different. I love Shahroo's approach on focusing and building on the qualities you like about yourself,its uplifting .I havent finished the book because I really want to take my time with the exercises,but I have purchased two copies already for family, who are very excited about reading the book too, Kindness is so easy to practice for others,but when it comes to practising for ourselves it can be a lot harder.I am really grateful to have been given the opportunity to read this book, a very big thank you to Netgalley,Pan Macmillan and a massive thank you to Shahroo Izadi for taking the time to write this wonderful book.

This book features a very simple to follow, easy to comprehend and completely sensible approach to changing habits of a lifetime and get you towards the life you want to be living. So many of these things are plain common sense, but we lack the insight in the moment of poor decision making to truly see this. I have enjoyed understanding this process and look forward to putting it into action.

I received a copy of this book via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. This is a self help book that is designed to help you change your habits. It is important to note that for the purpose of reviewing this book I read the book from cover to cover and therefore have not done any of the exercises and put the method into practice. I am really impressed with the tone of this book. It is in no way preachy There are a number of exercises to do and I will definitely be putting them into practice.

This is a self help book. It certainly gets you to look and for me re evaluate parts of my life. Example time spent on social media. It’s not just a read self help book -you get out of it what you put into it.
It’s surprisingly hard to actually be kind to yourself, As we are all similar in that we show others kindness before ourselves.

Thank you netgalley and publishers allowing me to review this book.

I have only briefly looked at this book but wanted to write a Pre Review as I will definitely follow through on reading it thoroughly and treating this self-help guide as hopefully a permanent change to my life. As well as my library position I teach dance exercise classes and find it easy to preach self discipline to my participants. Oh how I wish I could carry this to my personal life. I have some things in my life that I want and need to change and I will approach this with determination. I am in the process of moving house but when I am settled, I will give this my utmost attention. I will write a further review.

I was very kindly sent this book for review by Bluebird (Pam Macmillan) for review. The premise promises to help you change the habits you've been meaning to with a method that works because the author themselves is living proof.

This is where the book for me kind of didn't gel. Most of this book was about the authors experiences. I enjoyed it at first and hearing about how and why they developed their ideals and method was interesting but began feeling more like bragging and waffle to me (I'm sorry). But honestly, it just put me off. It made me less interested in trying the method, but alas I continued.

I really liked the idea of the maps and actually physically doing something while reading a self-help book was definitely a new experience and something I will continue doing, because I do agree that acting upon what you read is highly important! That being said, the method unfortunately just didn't work for me. I don't know if it just wasn't the right time, or method or if I just didn't do it right or try hard enough, but nothing seems to have changed about my outlook. I can really see how it would work and would recommend it to people. I also think I would probably try again in the future and hopefully have some success then.

I can’t tell you how much this book resonated with me! It felt like it had been written just for me - which would be nice but probably not great for sales.
The techniques we are taught as we go through this book make us look at ourselves and the great things we are capable of. This in turn encourages us to look at ourselves differently. The overall aim is to be kind and look after ourselves, something that seems possible thanks to this book

2018

This book won’t change your life if all you want to do is read something and revert back to your old habits - this book requires some work from you. Sitting down and writing out your maps as instructed in the book enables you to look at your life in a more honest way. We would never speak to others the way we often speak to ourselves so being able to see on paper our strengths and weaknesses and learning what triggers our failures (which the book shows you are not failures) is the way to changing your mindset and live a happy life for you no one else.

The Kindness Method is a self-help guide to help you change a habit for good. This might be something big or something small. Shahroo Izadi has developed this method via her experience of working with clients with addictions. But this method isn’t just for addictions – it about changing any habit and can just as easily be applied to taking up something, such as getting fit, as giving something up.

Shahroo’s approach involves starting with writing yourself a Snapshot Letter which summarises your thoughts and feelings at the start of the process. This is helpful to go back to as often we later trivialise a problem when we’re having a good day and go back to old habits as we think all is okay on that good day. She then goes through a series of a dozen or so maps that you create in your own handwriting. You use these in various ways, some to compare to one another and others to look at when you are not doing so well at changing the habit you are aiming at. The maps provide insights into our behaviour and knowledge of triggers that cause us to behave in ways we would rather not. These maps are fluid and can be added to and changed.

I was reading this on a Kindle so was frustrated as the images to show examples of the maps were not visible. Hopefully this will be fixed in the final version. I have since downloaded a pdf version onto my computer and can see the example maps which helps a lot.

I like Shahroo’s approach and I plan to spend some time working through the Kindness Method. It’s the sort of book where you can keep going back to it and get a bit more out of it as you gain a bit more insight into your behaviour.
Shahroo’s urges you to look for ways to be kind to yourself, not to beat yourself up if things are going to plan. As she points out, if a friend has done something wrong or foolish we wouldn’t berate them but would try and say something encouraging. So why don’t we do that to ourselves when we know we’ve done something wrong or foolish? She also urges us not trying to be too unrealistic and drastic in seeking change. For instance, don’t go from spending hours on social media to deleting all your accounts. Plan to spend a limited amount of time on them instead.

With thanks to NetGalley and Bluebird publishers (Pan Macmillan) for inviting me to read a free advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I have read some self help books in the past this one is different as it gets you to make maps and notes etc and break habits.
I found it quite interesting. I enjoyed the examples especially the ones at the beginning of the book and it certainly got me into reading it. I did find it then went on lots about the author however that was just how they changed and can help us to.
It’s a book I think you have to go back to rather than read and never read again and you do need to focus on doing what it says.

A very practical way of supporting yourself in breaking unwanted habits and becoming the best you you can be without self flagellation or unrealistic expectations. You get out what you put in with the Kindness Method - it's up to you to do the work but fortunately the work is fun and engaging which keeps you motivated.

This is a self help book with a difference. You do the work on yourself and being kind to yourself is harder than it seems. A really useful book. Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for letting me review this book.

I received an early copy of this book in return for my independent honest review.
I was really looking forward to using this book, both as a stress Management Practitioner to assess suitability for my clients and as an individual wanting to improve some areas of my life. The premise of The Kindness Method sounds really exciting using maps to really analyse ourselves and plan forward.
In the beginning the author gives a good explanation of her experience and how she developed this programme.
I then expected to then start looking at work sheets to create said maps. Armed with journals, coloured pens and stickers I was all hyped ready to do this. Unfortunately rather than coming across diagrams and helpful ways to start self help, there is more talk about the author, the why's the way fores quite specific case histories about alcohol dependency etc.
To be fair I reviewed an unfinished copy and perhaps more colour and exciting maps were to come.
My overall thoughts on this book is it is not quite sure what it wants to be. A memoir of the author's experience of working with alcohol addiction, her journey into creating a method that is working on a personal face to face concept, a help guide for Practitioners such as myself to further adapt, or a self help workbook for the general public to buy and work with to improve their lives. The latter it certainly isnt. It is too full of medical and psychological jargon and by the time you've waded through nearly 40% of text you've lost the impetus.
So sorry for me this book doesn't work. The principles,the ideas, the case histories that show the method works are all there, from obviously a very talented Practitioner, but as a cohesive book that needs to be concise,colourful, enticing and encouraging its not for the general reader.

I’ve just started mapping my social media use, after 3 days I’ve definelty reduced my time on Twitter.
Now to start on Facebook.

The Kindness Method by Shahroo Izadi a four-star read that will be thought provoking and change many minds, will yours be one of them. This is a self-help book that Is much deeper and more brutal than the couple of others I have read. Be warned its not a book you can pick up and read a few minutes then pick it back up later. This book will take work, but if you are willing to put in some hard work and keep at it then I’m sure that you will get something out of this story.

This book is far more serious than most in the self-help genre. It's more self-therapy.

The central concept of the book is that most things we want to change about ourselves are more the symptoms than the problem, and while we can often fix symptoms briefly if you don't deal with the underlying problem the chance of either a relapse or an alternate symptom appearing are. And, fundamentally at least, that's basically a cornerstone of peeking into the human psyche; a lot of what we do doesn't always have visible motivations. Or more accurately we often ignore the real motivation because it's easier to look at the visible symptoms and try dealing with those. And this book is about giving you the tools to undertake some self-analysis and try to get to the core problems. And that's what I really like about it. It's doing self-care in a serious and sensible manner.

That does make it less accessible at times. In truth, it feels more like a homework book therapists can give to patients because the number of maps you're encouraged to write make this more of a workbook than a reading book. If you read on the train to work, or in the bath, or even just in bed... you may not feel comfortable or able to pull out your notepad and start making maps about your life. I'm pretty sure you won't want to stand up in the middle of a cafe and start making affirmations into a mirror either. So don't expect this to be a book you can read. If you want to use the tools to make changes you pretty much need to start blocking out time to sit at a table or desk and do the assignments.

All of which comes back to the reason this book may not be for everyone. It does self-care seriously. It's not a quick fix, it's not an instant pick me up. If you're looking for a book to encourage you to make a small change without really having to commit to some kind of process you should look elsewhere. If you're looking for a more serious aid to addressing deep down issues and making huge changes to your life... well this book is a start. But if you're that committed already you'd probably get even more from a session with the author than you will from reading her book. It's a great first step and I can see it really helping as part of a bigger picture.

I’m not a big ‘self help’ reader but this was very accessible. Ever done the exercise where you have to say 5 nice things about yourself or list 5 good qualities you possess? It’s a lot harder than you think and yet there is nothing wrong with valuing ourselves or what’s good about ourselves. The Kindness Method tackles acquired habits of mind that continually undermine us as we interact with the world and society. The book is empathetic and down to earth without being needlessly facile. It’s methods are backed by personal account. All in all it was very readable and one I will refer to again.