This book chaellenges sterotypes well, and got me thinking. It had unexpected twists and turns that keep you reading. I would like to see more character development.

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form.

If Only I’d Known, by Chelsey Brooke Cole, is a self-help guide dedicated to helping individuals heal from narcissistic abuse. The book is divided into three sections. Part One: The Inner Workings of a Narcissist, teaches the tolls that a narcissist will use to make their “loved ones” more codependent on them for validation, support, love, and everything in between. Part Two: Finding Yourself, details coping skills, both beneficial and maladaptive, that an individual uses to survive narcissistic abuse. Finally, Part Three: Healing Your Past, Present, and Future offers different strategies that an individual can use to either eliminate the narcissist from their lives, or at the very least, minimize the mental and emotional pain they go through when interacting with said narcissist.

While the personality disorder in and of itself is rare, there are people who have a lot of narcissistic traits that have resulted in pain for everyone around them, themselves included. There are people who cry out, “Why doesn’t anyone love me?” not bothering to see the impact of their own behavior. Because of this, I feel that this book not only helps individuals deal with the abuse, but will also allow them to walk away without any guilt. I especially enjoyed the exercises that were listed towards the end, from the CALM acronym, to the encouragements in practicing positive self-talk and gratitude. The book has a mixture of inspirational and therapeutic tones that acts as a soft nudge to encourage them to heal, whether it be by themselves or with others.

Helping people who have experienced domestic violence and sexual assault has always been a special interest of mine, so I can definitely see this book pair well with other resources such as 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life by Bill Eddy and Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. The book also reminds me of a relationship class for women that this rehab center I interned at used to do. The class talked a lot about codependency, violence, why we come back to partners who have abused us, ect. True, individuals who have abused may have, in turn, been abused in the past. Similarly, there was a parenting class I helped teach in the facility as well, and in the curriculum, an emphasis of healthy boundaries was made over and over and over again. It really just shows that narcissists can be anyone, whether it be a parent, a partner, a sibling, and more, and that it was important for us to be protective of ourselves with everyone. However, while that means we can feel sorry for them, even love them, that doesn’t mean we need to allow these individuals to keep hurting us.

Because of this, I would give this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars, and would recommend it to those who are experiencing narcissistic abuse, codependency, ect.

So much of what was shared in the book spoke directly to me and where I am in my journey. It gave me hope and encouragement as well as tools to get through the days when it feels like there is no forward movement toward healing.

Perfect for anyone who hasn't read anything on narcissists. Comprehensive.
Thanks to author, publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.

For six years I was in a narcissistic relationship. I didn't realize it at first, but finally started recognizing the patterns. Chelsey is spot on with every dynamic of this topic. I felt every emotion possible while reading this, which says a lot for me. I stuff all emotions deep, deep down in the abyss. Through this amazing text, I have learned how to truly heal. Thanks Chelsey!!

I really appreciated this book, and the way it was written. The book really lays out step by step every part of the process in figuring out whether a loved one is a narcissist and how to heal yourself from all the past trauma. The book is very thorough in explaining the different types of narcissism and the way in which it can affect every aspect of a survivor's life. The book also fully fleshed out the entire range of emotions a survivor may feel when interacting with a narcissist. Finally, the book described specific steps a person can take when healing from narcissistic abuse. I learned a lot from this book, and I appreciated how much effort went into explaining all the different aspects of knowing someone who is a narcissist.

Thanks to Netgalley, and Chelsey for giving me the chance to read and preview this book in advance.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a disorder like no other, It’s hard to even fathom that people like this exist.
It’s hard to explain it to others unless you have experienced it firsthand. It’s hard to even understand yourself what is happening. But you know that something isn’t right with this person, you know that this person is disordered, but are unable to find the right words to describe it, it leaves you feeling confused, and disoriented. And If you were like me, and happened to come up on a random article about NPD, and realize this, this is it, and feel relieved to understand that there is a name for what is happening to you. The more you learn, the scarier it becomes to realize the narcissist behavior, is intentional, and calculated.
As for the book, I loved it for many reasons. First being it was written straightforward, in simple terms, and to the point. The book was also divided into sections that made the book easy to read, and understand with descriptions of each type of narcissism, their tactics, and about healing yourself. Chelsey has great insight, and precise knowledge of this disorder, which to be honest, many therapists themselves do not understand narcissistic personality disorder. I hope that this is something that will change as this disorder is being discussed more than ever.
I would definitely recommend reading this book to anyone who has had the unfortunate experience of having a narcissist in their life. I would also recommend family, and friends of an abuse victim to read this book as well. It will give you insight as to what your family member, or loved one is experiencing.

I will share/tag the author in my social media accounts, for some reason it’s not excepting my URL here

If Only I'd Known
by Chelsey Brooke Cole
How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth

How I wish I had this before. It is a very helpful book to change the way you see some people, to distant and save yourself from insanity.

Written in layman's terms, this book focuses on the narcissist and how they tick. Why they are the way they are, the many ways NPD manifests, and the many ways lives are destroyed by being victim to a narcissist. The last third of the book introduces techniques to reclaim one's individual identity and boundaries, separate from being associated with the narcissist.

Well this was an eye-opening book. It has a lot of basic Counseling 101 principles in it, but largely geared toward NPD and folks who have been unwitting victims of NPD. I would recommend it for anyone who is trying to break out of a toxic relationship, as it helps to identify patterns and gives strategies for creating new, healthier habits.

What a helpful book! I love the freebies included and links to quizzes and additional materials. Very important topic and was covered in a simple to comprehend way. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. Five stars.

Many people have been the victim of narcissistic abuse according to the author. Directly, through a controlling boss or partner or relative, so this is an important book which sheds light on the topic. It shows you how to recognise the different types of narcissist and how to set boundaries. Thank you to netgalley and the publishers for giving me a copy of the book.

★★★★ ☐ The publisher has provided a copy for review.

All of us have narcissists in our lives, those people who suck the air out of our lungs into their own ... without ever saying, "Breathe with me," or "Enough already! They exhaust us - by proximity or demands - and make us feel like we're worth nothing.

But how do you deal with them, especially when they are family or close friends? Cole uses her experience in therapy to explain the what, how, and when of understanding six kinds of narcissists and setting boundaries for self-health.

Worth reading, especially if you're tired of being drawn into all that drama! Your daily test of endurance is about to find worthwhile insights about recognizing the cycles of abuse and trauma ... and the courage to be inspired beyond the chaos and mindset that narcissists produce.

You're there? Here's help for when to say yes and when to say no, for coming to terms with "that person." (If you suspect the narcissist might be you, there's help for that, too.)