I just can't. I read the other Netgalley reviews and laughed so hard they convinced me to read it. It was something... My coworkers dared me, so I made it into adult story time. We laughed until we thought we were going to wee on ourselves, then got quiet in cringy moments culminating in an weird series of giggles. It's not a story to forget, that's for sure. It's not my cup of tea, but if you're looking for some HILARIOUS metaphors, this is the story for you.

ARC copy kindly provided through NetGalley but all thoughts are my own.

Love-swamp got me. his meaty protein breath got me. this kitsch is on par but the whole beginning with Thad wasn't it. Rocky should have ate him and I'm gonna die on that hill.

loved the religious bit in the epilogue! this was very feel good dino stuff. not the spiciest even with the overflowing fluids lol. Don Juan Velociraptor still has my heart.

Wow this was a wild ride. I had no idea what I was getting into and I am both shocked and not shocked. I feel like 2 stars is a solid and accurate rating. I'm not sure I would admit reading this to anyone else. Dinosaur erotica is not a genre I would ever guess existed...there is something for everyone.

I’ll admit that I initially thought this was not a real book when I saw the book as an available ARC from NetGalley. I have never seen this genre before, but I don’t know why I doubted it when there are books about werewolves, vampires and even people being involved with spiders! (I can’t imagine!)

The book is a short story with Holy realizing her relationship with wealthy Thad has changed and she has begun to feel alone and that he is consumed with work.

A Christmas approaches, Holly finds out that Thad is ditching her trip back home to have a work trip skiing with potential clients. He gifts her a tacky, expensive necklace and ignores her response to gush about its expense. After a quick dinner with his family, she heads home to Utah to spend the holiday with her dad. Once there she is visited by her high school friend, Rocky, a Utahraptor that she had a crush on.

I won’t spoil the rest of the story, but the author’s descriptors made me laugh out loud, whether they were intended to or not and her description of his body - even self lube producing, that ain’t gonna fit!

You can read the whole story quickly and while I’ll read anything once, I don’t know that I’ll read this type of book again. If you like this genre, it was well written and engaging.

Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for this book. All opinions are my own.

1 star | 1 spice

I honestly don't even know where to begin with this one... there were so many problems and the fact she was f*cking a dinosaur wasn't even one of them...

First off the writing in this one is just not good... I can appreciate a short, smutty monster romance better than most but the plot of this one was just stupid as hell. Plus it's marketed as "dinosaur erotica" and there's like ONE sex scene and words like "love-swamp" and "love-button" were used - JUST SAY VAGINA OR CLIT. Love-swamp?? That's the last thing I want to hear that referred to as...

This book turned oddly religious at one point and really there was nothing Christmasy about it. Just the fact that this girl comes home for Christmas and bangs a dinosaur (a VIRGIN dinosaur). The backstory on how the dinosaurs were living amongst humans, driving and talking were not even glossed over. It just said their DNA changed or something.

The last one I read by Faust, the man was a dinosaur SHIFTER, so she banged him in man form, but this one was STRAIGHT UP dino. Supposedly this thing was 3 stories tall, so please tell me how that monster-sized d*ck managed to fit, girl was just like ohhh I'll stretch. PLEASE she couldn't even fit two hands around it- THERE'S NO WAY. Plus, do dinosaurs even have d*cks????

Edit: after a google search from hell, apparently they did in fact have a d*ck of some sort... now my brain is burning from the images of dinosaurs getting it on that popped up and whoever is monitoring my search history is probably horrified....

I get Thad and his dad were supposed to come off like complete assholes and fine but I honestly couldn't tell if it was satire or this author purposefully made them this way. Then they flew in on some rich helicopter and found her half naked in a dino cave... so honestly yeah I can see how her boyfriend would be disgusted lol he was an ass - but she still cheated on him with a giant scaley dino...

Overall, this book was just bad... bad writing, bad characters and bad plot. PLUS NO EROTICA, I don't read this shit for the PLOT, at least give me something to entertain me. If the author ever decides to write something with a decent plot and more smut, maybe I will read it.

I'll leave you with a few quotes I highlighted....

"The little feathers on his cheeks tickled her as he rolled his lizard-lips against hers..." LIZARD LIPS NO THANKS.

"... a glorious fount of meat-breath that bathed her face in a delicate mist of saliva." MEAT BREATH?? She also describes him as tasting like a rare steak at one point... so does she wanna f*ck him or eat him??

What in the world did I just read?? Did I just finish a story about a woman in love with a dinosaur named Rocky who talks and acts like a human?? Did I really read a story about a human woman having sex with a dinosaur?? Well, yes…I did, unfortunately. The ONLY reason I gave this two stars is because I feel like the author has some true potential and she might actually be quite good IF she wrote something normal. There were several grammatical errors that stuck out like a sore thumb, and most of the dialogue was downright cringy. Oh, and did I mention a woman has sex with a dinosaur?? WITH.A.DINOSAUR! (***shakes head in disbelief***) Now, excuse me while I go bang my head against a wall so I can try and forget the past hour of my life I spent reading this catastrophe.

Wow. Well that was an experience. First, I want to say that this book was definitely different and outside of the box which is what made me gravitate towards it. I felt like it missed the mark however. I was looking for a light fun holiday novella on the monster romance side of things just featuring a Dino. Somehow a book about screwing a dinosaur was super religious while also being really gross. Let’s just say a certain nether region was referred to as “love swamp.” So many other fun lines to look forward to when reading this one. My personal favorite was probably saying that the Dino member tasted of fish sauce. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

I enjoyed this book not my typical read for sure but the writing made it fun and interesting!
Thank to #netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to read and review this ARC.

I have read every Dino Erotica story Lola has published, and each time I am surprised by how outlandish and silly they are. They're a huge bit of fun in between other stories, and at the end of the day it has you believing that a human and a dinosaur really could be happy together.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

My Selling Pitch:
Do you want to read bad dino smut for the lols? It’s barely smut and barely a holiday romance, but it does have a religious agenda.

Pre-reading:
It’s the most wonderful time of the year🎶 As if I wasn’t going to pick this up?

Thick of it:
Cabochon

One, I was thinking of the author Koontz. Two, apparently, there’s an artist who makes giant balloon animal sculptures. And they say smut isn’t educational.

I’m too much of a Capricorn. I’m like ooo money.

She’s an antiquer, he’s a finance bro. She’s a yoga teacher dog mom, he-studies the implications of DNA deterioration on the culture of dinosaur populations in Tasmania. I-

These dumb books make me laugh.

Biggest Thad omg.

Lol, this would be Mormon nonsense.

Nothing says glory to god like a microwave.

What curfew? She’s a grown-ass adult.

Ew, lol

Love swamp OMG

I mean, Holly is the no good dirty cheater here.

I mean, Thad’s just spitting facts.

What is with the fucking religious agenda?

Post-reading:
Yeah, I mean you’re reading this for the lols. The plot’s a mess. The characters are cardboard. There’s not really smut in this which is surprising considering it’s supposed to be erotica. It has a weird religious agenda. Not super Christmasy or porny. But like, iconic garbage?

Who should read this:
You know exactly who you are
Cringe spectators

Do I want to reread this:
No

Similar books:
* Seduced by the Pumpkin Spice Latte by Evelyn Cloves-look she fucks a coffee cup, okay. ‘Tis the season.
* Unhinged by Vera Valentine-homegirl fucks a door, and this erotica manages to scrape together a plot with some mythos
* Wet Hot Allosaurus Summer by Lola Faust-dinosaur smut for the lols
* Kissing the Coronavirus by M. J. Edwards-unhinged smut for the lols

Lola Faust is back with a Christmas story, and here's the list of content warnings:

"Christmas (trees and otherwise), jewelry, Jeff Koontz, coffee, capitalism, generational wealth, management consulting, private equity, Utah, Chicago, Australia, Etsy, antiques, cigars, cottages, mountains, lakes, ducks, fishing, dysfunctional families, functional families, previous loss of a parent, financial abuse, breakups, dinosaurs, dinosaur sex, feathers, dinosaur feathers, high school, hockey, Canadians, universities, Tinder, alcoholism, food trucks, car dealerships, creepy older men, vintage buses, casseroles, miniature marshmallows, salads (conventional and Midwestern American), salt flats, helicopters, birthday cakes, French press coffee, in-laws (legal and common-law), marriage, organized religion, disorganized religion, Edmund Spenser, E.T., alligators (imagined), water treatment plants, dictation software, nostalgia" (loc. 4)

I'd like to add a few things to the mix:

- Men named Thad
- Casual sexual harassment from men named Thad
- Use of the term "love-swamp"
- Use of the word "moist"
- Incorrect use of the word "querulous"
- Overly inclusive content warnings
- Dinosaur semen

...for a start.

This is easily one of the most conventional romances that Faust has published, as it's basically a tongue-firmly-in-cheek second-chance romance with the minor twist that the hero is a twelve-foot utahraptor. The details are playful—Holly knows Rocky because he was part of a Utahraptor Inclusion pilot program at her high school, which was chosen "mostly because its ceilings were sixteen feet high, which made it more accessible for the dinos" (loc. 169). Meanwhile, Rocky's "convertible" is a VW bus with the top taken off (loc. 284)... It is also way, *way* more tame than, e.g., "Wet Hot Allosaurus Summer", despite the dinosaur semen; while there's probably a thing or two that should land Holly in the ER, she *does* keep all of her limbs, so there's that. (I read a couple of passages out to my s.o., then asked him to Google something for me. He gave me a pained, suspicious look and refused. "It's nothing weird!" I said. "Will you please Google 'Were dinosaurs monogamous'?" After that I got him to Google whether or not utahraptors were monogamous, so it's safe to say that I've used up my let-me-Google-that-for-you goodwill for the month.)

Anyway. The whole thing is ridiculous, I have absolutely lost the plot in terms of how to come up with a coherent rating, and I am entertained.

Still feeling just fine about never having met a dinosaur in real life, though. Ditto for men named Thad.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.

With the end of the year looming and a great stack of books on my Kindle and Kobo beckoning to finally be read, I was on the train called book slump. Until I saw that Lola Faust had an offering just in time for the holidays.


It should be a truth universally acknowledged that dinosaur erotica will rejuvenate your drive to tackle that TBR.

Main protagonist Holly is in a terrible relationship. In fact, her boyfriend and his family are all fairly toxic. Luckily, Holly makes the decision to go home for Christmas where she reconnects with her high school boyfriend, Rocky, the stunningly charismatic Utahraptor. The sparks fly and I was shipping this relationship with as much passion as I once did for Dylan and Brenda and Joey and Pacey.

If you like Christmas but are tired of the same old Hallmark movies, try a Christmas romance with a dinosaur.


#AllIWantForChristmasisUtahraptor #NetGalley.

Publication Date 07/12/23
Review Date 12/12/23

I honestly never know what to say about these reads, but they are fun and weird and I can’t help but read them! Rocky was a very respectful dinosaur let’s just go with that and ‘Love swamp’ will stay with me for a long time!

Gratitude to NetGalley for the eARC. This is my honest review
Thad, the chad, and Big Thad 🫣😱

Despite an enjoyable ride, the hiccup was Holly's cheating, even if Thad is a Chad.
Some word choices, like "love swamp," raised an eyebrow 😅😅.

Nevertheless, this holiday novella proved to be a fun and quirky quick read.

This was the perfect return to your small town and get back together with your high school romance over the holidays story … that just happened to include a utahraptor as the hero!

As always, Lola creates a classic romantic story and inserts her dinosaur heroes in such a way that you just go with it and enjoy the ride!

Did I question the logistics? Of course, I always do! Am I an expert in dinosaur/person relations? Heavens no! Any monster romance, you suspend your belief and fall for the adorable cinnamon roll Dino!

Beyond the monster romance, I loved that there are different elements of comedy throughout that had me literally laughing out loud. And along with that, Lola included plenty of entertaining isms from her heroines at university in Canada.

Overall, I had a lot of fun with this quick holiday novella. it was just what I expected and hoped for in a holiday from the one and only Lola Faust!

I can easily recommend grabbing yourself a copy and adding it to your holiday TBR!

Thanks for the eBook review copy- opinions are my own.

While I do feel like the 2 stars is a little generous, I will say that I did get a good laugh or two out of this book. I have no real words for how to describe this book. I can confidently say I will not read another one. This was one of the wildest stories I have read.

Thank you to NetGalley for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This story had me absolutely cackling! I had such a fun, entertaining time reading it and the out-there aspect just made it even better. I will be thinking about this forever lol. I recommend it if you want a solidly written, intensely comedic plot!

Thanks to NetGalley and the Publisher for allowing me to review this title in exchange for an honest review.

This isn't my first Lola Faust rodeo. I honestly had an idea what I was getting into when I picked this up and was still pretty surprised.

I really appreciated and was amused by the long list of content warnings at the beginning, a lot of the triggers were a little, specific like cake being on the list, but still it kind of set the tone for the rest of the story.

It was a pretty sweet story to tell you the truth. Kind of a second chance romance of sorts after Holly had spent years with her current boyfriend feeling like she wasn't appreciated. There was a lot of healing taking place and conversations about different religions and how marriage and connection is considered and how it fits in.

All in all if you're looking for something quick and quirky to help fill out your goal for the year. I say pick it up. I'll continue to grab any Lola Faust books that I see because I honestly enjoy the chaos of adding these to my goodreads.

i loved this book. it was like a hallmark movie but instead the love interest is a dinosaur. it was a fun and short read but enjoyable!

It's a bad Hallmark Christmas movie but replace the romance interest with a dinosaur. This is the only difference. That sounds like a negative when I put it that way but boy is this book hilarious.