Member Reviews

Song's memoir gripped me from beginning to end and the best way I can describe Docile is as both a window and a mirror.

A window because Song reflects upon her childhood as a Korean raised in America, to living as an American in Korea in her late teens. An Asian American experience encapsulated by the difficulty in belonging anywhere because of who you are. Song is shaped irrevocably by her mother's love and projection, by her father's absence and determination, and by being the first born, eldest daughter - a state of existence which seems to confound cultural boundaries and settle upon the shoulders of young girls and women everywhere.

This is where Docile becomes a mirror, for me at least, because Song tracks how the above pushed her into a life of perfection - striving for it, thriving upon it, while simultaneously never resting, always over-achieving, never settling for the things that would easily bring her peace. It was the depiction of this heart-aching pressure cooker that left me in tears at the end of this memoir; because Song also writes with the beauty of maturity and hindsight, making Docile an incredibly emotional read at times due to the levels of reflection within Song's recollection.

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Thankyou to NetGalley and the publisher for the digital ARC!

It's always weird to give a star rating and a review to someone's memoir because you're basically giving them a review of their life. Thankfully, I found Docile to be an enjoyable and quick read, which was well written. Hyeseung Song is a Korean-American who was born in Seoul before moving to Texas with her family when she was 5. We read her life story from this age all the way up to her mid-late 30s and all the issues she had.

I'm not an immigrant, nor American, but I can imagine her story will resonate strongly with lots of children of immigrants/immigrants themselves. Her dad wants to chase the American Dream and become a billionaire, while her mum just wants to ensure her family is cared for and not destitute. On top of that, you've got the fact they're religious Catholics with the Confucianism that runs through Korea even today, which means that Hyeseung is doomed in her parent's eyes: she's a girl, and she has a younger brother. Ergo, her brother can get away with everything, whereas she has impossible standards put on her and her parents, who watch her like a hawk.

This story is also about Hyeseung's depression, which began when she was a teenager. The need to be perfect and get the highest grades is ingrained in her by her mum - there's no praise for doing well, only more pressure to do better. She does everything her parents want, including attending an Ivy League university, yet nothing seems good enough. This carries on into her adult life - when she's 25, she's still doing what her parents want because she's too afraid to say no. The expectation that her parents sacrificed to give her a better life means she must do what they want, even though Hyeseung's talents don't lie towards things like medicine or law.

Overall, this was very enjoyable, and I really felt for Hyeseung. I know she's a real person, and I can only hope that she's doing better now. A lot of the time, I spent thinking, 'Go to therapy!' It was great to see her finally go and realise that it's not her fault. PSA to everyone out there—go to therapy, even if you don't think you need to.

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Full of emotions and heartbreaking confessions, Docile is a fantastic memoir. As someone who is the descendant of East Asians, I understood a lot of the struggles faced by Hyeseung. Her struggles with metal health, education and finding a purpose rang true and reminded me of the power in novels like this. By giving voice to her struggle she subsequently gives voice to everyone suffering with the same questions she has. As is often the case in life, some of her problems don’t have natural solutions. She fights and claws her way to carve a path for herself and I admire her determination to do so. Well written and brave, I really enjoyed this.

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