"Hyeseung-a, don't be like me when you grow up."

Hyeseung - a daughter of Korean immigrants recounts her life in Texas and then the east coast. I found the earlier parts of the memoir quite interesting. However, as soon as Hyeseung moved onto college, the writing became quite tedious to follow with lots of names thrown in left, right and centre, where I lost track of who was who. No doubt the generational trauma that Hyeseung experienced greatly affected her mental health but I thought that experiences such as sexual assault and death of a parent were downplayed and came across as not being important. As Hyeseung turned to art and painting in order to heal, I found it strange that there had been no mention of her being remotely interested and inclined towards art previously.

A memoir of an Asian American, Hyeseung Song recounts her life as a child of Korean immigrants growing up in Texas, and her experience navigating what it means to grow up in a very white-centric environment where the expectation to achieve is enormous and the pressure, often from her own family takes a toll on her mental health.
A quiet, reflective book, Hyeseung's journey of self-discovery and the realisation that in order to be truly happy, she needed to follow her own cues and not what her parents or even society often demanded from her was really beautiful to read.
There are parts of this book that really moved me, but there were also parts that didn't feel cohesive, and I found my attention wandering slightly, but overall, it's beautifully written. I would recommend this one, especially if you like memoirs based on identity and mental health.

This is I think one of the most moving memoirs that I have ever read. I have no idea what it must be like to move from your homeland to another with your family and then try to put down roots. But also try to navigate life before and after. It 's moving, insightful and heartbreaking in equal measure. Imagine moving between the fields of remote Texas to Seoul. There are many sad and tragic moments and suicide is a repeat theme and I found that a bit hard to read. But all in all, an eye opening read.

Hyeseung has written what feels like a totally unflinching and candid account of the difficulties experienced by those who never quite fit. As an immigrant family in Texas, her father is ambitious for her and wants the best. Her mother is cold and controlling. She’s an outsider in her own domestic world and in the real world where by reason of ethnicity, she doesn’t belong. She’s on a difficult journey to find both herself with counter demands and her place in an often hostile world. Hyseung has given a voice to the many many thousands who must share her issues and I find it brave and honest if her to find the right way to put this into words. It’s not always a comfortable read but it’s one that’s stayed with me and much food for thought about our society and how we treat people.

Docile was a wonderful and insightful read. It shed great light on life with a mental illness and the challenges and pain that occurs with long periods of depression and insomnia. It took many years for Hyeseung to be properly diagnosed. She, moved with family at a young age from Korea to the United States of America, Houston to be exact. This memoir details her childhood, teen, twenties and into her thirties of life in America as an immigrant. Very academic she is pushed and pressurised by her mother to achieve and for much of her life buts her own wishes and desires for her life aside for others and others ambitions for her. It is an interesting, though painful journey to read as she finally is able to live life in her own terms. She later discovers art, a far cry from the academia and law career that has been expected of her.

The author writes so openly. It is a real unflinching account of a life and is an interesting story in itself. Anyone who has suffered with their mental health and the challenges of depression, I can image would find solace and be able to relate to what she describes experiencing. I myself found this to be so well observed by the author having experienced long periods of depression in my twenties.

Having been brought up in Scotland, never living abroad; I just love to read how another has lived in a place so different to my own country. Hyeseung details her school and university life, her time spent living in New York and also the months she spent in her early twenties living and working in Korea and meeting her family.

I would highly recommend this as a read. I read it in a day, such was its quality- I just couldn't put it down. Approachably and warmly written too. I really loved a book called Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner. Anyone who enjoyed that will enjoy Docile and if you read Docile, Crying in H Mart would be an ideal read. Thank you so much to NetGalley for the chance to read any early release of this book. It is certainly one I will return to and read again.

Docile: Memoir of a Not So Perfect Asian Girl by Hyeseung Song is a raw, introspective exploration of identity, trauma, and resilience. In this memoir, Song unpacks the pressures of growing up as a Korean American woman in a culture that prizes obedience, perfection, and silence. With unflinching honesty, she examines her struggles with mental health, family expectations, and the desire to reclaim her voice in a world that often demanded she stay quiet.

It’s a powerful narrative that challenges stereotypes, dismantles the model minority myth, and offers a deeply personal account of healing and self-definition. A courageous and compelling read.

This is a powerful memoir of a young woman of Korean heritage, living in Texas, who struggles with her identity. She tries to please her parents by getting into top universities. When her mental health breaks down she again pleases her parents by going to Korea. This does not go well for her. Later, she marries and tries to pursue a career in art. Her fragile mental health and misdiagnoses ensure that she is never happy with her choices. A poignant memoir. I hope she has found peace and acceptance in her life, maybe as an author?

Hyeseung shows how her life and feelings evolved . The story really grips you in seeing if with her culture she can become her own person. Born from Korean parents who went to America to start their life, Hyeseung mother tries to rule Hyeseung life and makes her feel guilty if she does not comply.

From the depths of depression throughout her college years and trying to find her way after 9/11. A story that will stay with you long after reading.

Thank you Netgalley for letting me read this.

Docile by Hyeseung Song is a poignant and unflinchingly honest memoir that offers a raw, powerful exploration of identity, mental health, and the impact of cultural expectations. The song recounts her early years as a daughter of Korean immigrants in Texas, caught between the ambitions of her father and the controlling, resentful nature of her mother. From a young age, Song learns more about hatred than love, and when her family’s financial troubles force them to move, she faces the harsh realities of being neither rich nor white in a predominantly white world.

Navigating the complex dynamics of her family, Song internalises the model minority myth and her mother’s high expectations, which lead her to pursue a path of academic success at Ivy League universities. However, this relentless pursuit of “real success” takes a toll, pushing Song into a battle with depression and mania. As she contemplates the depths of her struggles, she enters a psychiatric hospital, where she begins to understand that true healing comes from confronting her own identity and breaking free from the cycle of self-erasure.

Song’s writing is both lyrical and unflinchingly candid, capturing the emotional and psychological battles she faces in a world that demands perfection. Docile is not just a memoir of survival but one of self-reclamation, as Song learns to let go of the societal pressures that have defined her and embrace her true self. This book is an emotional journey through the complexities of Asian American identity, mental illness, and the search for self-worth. It is a beautiful and moving exploration of how one woman finds the strength to heal by shedding the expectations that once defined her.

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This story navigates the complex threads that make up the identity of an immigrant child who belongs to one of the "model minority" groups.

The Korean culture of privacy and shame, the adversarial nature of her parents' relationship, the inner conflict of who she herself wants to be versus who she is expected to be are all things that contribute to pushing Hyeseung Song to the edge of madness.

This is a brutally honest and frankly brutal memoir of growing up isolated and finding out that you don't fit in anywhere. Well worth reading, .

Song's memoir gripped me from beginning to end and the best way I can describe Docile is as both a window and a mirror.

A window because Song reflects upon her childhood as a Korean raised in America, to living as an American in Korea in her late teens. An Asian American experience encapsulated by the difficulty in belonging anywhere because of who you are. Song is shaped irrevocably by her mother's love and projection, by her father's absence and determination, and by being the first born, eldest daughter - a state of existence which seems to confound cultural boundaries and settle upon the shoulders of young girls and women everywhere.

This is where Docile becomes a mirror, for me at least, because Song tracks how the above pushed her into a life of perfection - striving for it, thriving upon it, while simultaneously never resting, always over-achieving, never settling for the things that would easily bring her peace. It was the depiction of this heart-aching pressure cooker that left me in tears at the end of this memoir; because Song also writes with the beauty of maturity and hindsight, making Docile an incredibly emotional read at times due to the levels of reflection within Song's recollection.

Thankyou to NetGalley and the publisher for the digital ARC!

It's always weird to give a star rating and a review to someone's memoir because you're basically giving them a review of their life. Thankfully, I found Docile to be an enjoyable and quick read, which was well written. Hyeseung Song is a Korean-American who was born in Seoul before moving to Texas with her family when she was 5. We read her life story from this age all the way up to her mid-late 30s and all the issues she had.

I'm not an immigrant, nor American, but I can imagine her story will resonate strongly with lots of children of immigrants/immigrants themselves. Her dad wants to chase the American Dream and become a billionaire, while her mum just wants to ensure her family is cared for and not destitute. On top of that, you've got the fact they're religious Catholics with the Confucianism that runs through Korea even today, which means that Hyeseung is doomed in her parent's eyes: she's a girl, and she has a younger brother. Ergo, her brother can get away with everything, whereas she has impossible standards put on her and her parents, who watch her like a hawk.

This story is also about Hyeseung's depression, which began when she was a teenager. The need to be perfect and get the highest grades is ingrained in her by her mum - there's no praise for doing well, only more pressure to do better. She does everything her parents want, including attending an Ivy League university, yet nothing seems good enough. This carries on into her adult life - when she's 25, she's still doing what her parents want because she's too afraid to say no. The expectation that her parents sacrificed to give her a better life means she must do what they want, even though Hyeseung's talents don't lie towards things like medicine or law.

Overall, this was very enjoyable, and I really felt for Hyeseung. I know she's a real person, and I can only hope that she's doing better now. A lot of the time, I spent thinking, 'Go to therapy!' It was great to see her finally go and realise that it's not her fault. PSA to everyone out there—go to therapy, even if you don't think you need to.

Full of emotions and heartbreaking confessions, Docile is a fantastic memoir. As someone who is the descendant of East Asians, I understood a lot of the struggles faced by Hyeseung. Her struggles with metal health, education and finding a purpose rang true and reminded me of the power in novels like this. By giving voice to her struggle she subsequently gives voice to everyone suffering with the same questions she has. As is often the case in life, some of her problems don’t have natural solutions. She fights and claws her way to carve a path for herself and I admire her determination to do so. Well written and brave, I really enjoyed this.