Song's memoir gripped me from beginning to end and the best way I can describe Docile is as both a window and a mirror.

A window because Song reflects upon her childhood as a Korean raised in America, to living as an American in Korea in her late teens. An Asian American experience encapsulated by the difficulty in belonging anywhere because of who you are. Song is shaped irrevocably by her mother's love and projection, by her father's absence and determination, and by being the first born, eldest daughter - a state of existence which seems to confound cultural boundaries and settle upon the shoulders of young girls and women everywhere.

This is where Docile becomes a mirror, for me at least, because Song tracks how the above pushed her into a life of perfection - striving for it, thriving upon it, while simultaneously never resting, always over-achieving, never settling for the things that would easily bring her peace. It was the depiction of this heart-aching pressure cooker that left me in tears at the end of this memoir; because Song also writes with the beauty of maturity and hindsight, making Docile an incredibly emotional read at times due to the levels of reflection within Song's recollection.

Full of emotions and heartbreaking confessions, Docile is a fantastic memoir. As someone who is the descendant of East Asians, I understood a lot of the struggles faced by Hyeseung. Her struggles with metal health, education and finding a purpose rang true and reminded me of the power in novels like this. By giving voice to her struggle she subsequently gives voice to everyone suffering with the same questions she has. As is often the case in life, some of her problems don’t have natural solutions. She fights and claws her way to carve a path for herself and I admire her determination to do so. Well written and brave, I really enjoyed this.

Docile by Hyeseung Song is a poignant and unflinchingly honest memoir that offers a raw, powerful exploration of identity, mental health, and the impact of cultural expectations. The song recounts her early years as a daughter of Korean immigrants in Texas, caught between the ambitions of her father and the controlling, resentful nature of her mother. From a young age, Song learns more about hatred than love, and when her family’s financial troubles force them to move, she faces the harsh realities of being neither rich nor white in a predominantly white world.

Navigating the complex dynamics of her family, Song internalises the model minority myth and her mother’s high expectations, which lead her to pursue a path of academic success at Ivy League universities. However, this relentless pursuit of “real success” takes a toll, pushing Song into a battle with depression and mania. As she contemplates the depths of her struggles, she enters a psychiatric hospital, where she begins to understand that true healing comes from confronting her own identity and breaking free from the cycle of self-erasure.

Song’s writing is both lyrical and unflinchingly candid, capturing the emotional and psychological battles she faces in a world that demands perfection. Docile is not just a memoir of survival but one of self-reclamation, as Song learns to let go of the societal pressures that have defined her and embrace her true self. This book is an emotional journey through the complexities of Asian American identity, mental illness, and the search for self-worth. It is a beautiful and moving exploration of how one woman finds the strength to heal by shedding the expectations that once defined her.

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Hyeseung shows how her life and feelings evolved . The story really grips you in seeing if with her culture she can become her own person. Born from Korean parents who went to America to start their life, Hyeseung mother tries to rule Hyeseung life and makes her feel guilty if she does not comply.

From the depths of depression throughout her college years and trying to find her way after 9/11. A story that will stay with you long after reading.

Thank you Netgalley for letting me read this.