Well, this was a wonderful surprise! I'm surprised that this is Shalini Abeysekara's debut novel, the premise sounded amazing, and I really enjoyed it. For me, This Monster of Mine had a strong feel of Trudi Canavan's The Magicians Guild (The Black Magician Trilogy), which I mean as the best possible compliment.

There's not too much to say without revealing spoilers, but I enjoyed our dark magician, Kadra, who was suspected of foul play by Sarai and demonised by everybody, except, seemingly, his people in the quarter of the city he rules. Sarai herself is an interesting character, focused on revenge, and with visible scarring and deformities, which she hides by magic, caused by an attack four years ago. The story is pretty simplistic – I guessed who the 'baddies' were almost immediately and there's not loads of nuance, but that didn't detract from my enjoyment. I liked the magic ideas and what world-building we got to see. This is a very, very slow burn with only a little bit of spice happening right near the end of the book.

While this didn't end on a cliffhanger, there were hints and plenty of elements that weren't wrapped up that I would love to see developed into another story. Keeping my fingers crossed that there is a book two or another book set in this world.

Thanks to NetGalley and Hodder & Stoughton for the ARC, this is my honest opinion.

Shadow daddy but he has lightening.
After being almost killed four years ago at the city’s prestigious Academi with no memory of it, Sarai vows to uncover the perpetrators and get her revenge.

Due to her magical ability to detect lies, she is selected as Petitor to work as an esteemed prosecutor for one of the Tetrarchs - the most powerful people in charge. Only thing is, it is with sadistic, violent, MONSTROUS Tetrarch Kadra, who has a reputation for brutality. And she recognises his voice for some reason. Hmmmm….

Okay, but the SLOW BURN was slowwww. The tension, the angst… just tear off each other’s shirts already.

Serai is a girl who is ANGRY. She is out for vengeance. Justice means more to her than laws and politics.
Funnily enough, she and Tetrarch Kendra have this in common.

<b>Her heart halted. A long-suppressed part of her snapped awake, rattling its cage, all hunger and sharp teeth, like it had been waiting for this very second. She shoved the ugliness back under, watching Kadra with the sinking realization that it had woken for him.
</b>
There is manipulation, lowkey gaslighting and brainwashing, the law being used to serve the powerful and wealthy… definitely a critique on real-life business and the justice system.

This was promising, but I think it tried to do too much. The plot and tension and characters were great even if Kadra was a ripoff unavailable dark and moody but gentle for her shadow daddy.

However, the magic system was under utilised and not really explained. This book could have worked well without it and it just seemed inconsistent and a way to get out of tricky situations etc.

I also found the mystery element extremely obvious as well as the big reveal. Like, from the time we met the characters involved.
I didn’t really see the Rome-inspired tie-in.

Saying that, this was really addicting and it’s only after I sat with it a while that I noticed these issues. The actual reading experience was great. This, I am torn between three and four stars.

I would kind of describe this as The Justice of Kings but waaay more new adult romantasy.

Arc gifted by Hodderscape and Stoughton.

4.5 stars!!

Vicious, violent and visceral, this book had my blood boiling in the best way possible. What an incredible debut! This Monster of Mine follows Sarai, a girl who had a near death experience as a teenager without closure that now works as a magical prosecutor to investigate her own attempted murder. But what happens when your prime suspect is your love interest??

Initially, it did take me a while to get into the story. I think even by the end of the novel, the terminology was still quite confusing to me until I realised there was a glossary at the back, but the strengths of the novel far outweigh the flaws. Already the prologue is incredibly dark and gruesome, throwing you into the night of Sarai’s attempted murder and wondering how we got here and who the culprit was. I had a STRONG vehemence for all the tetrarchs who were all so well written to be insufferable, manipulative and corrupt. The realistic portrayal of the corrupt justice system had my blood pressure spiking throughout the novel. Everyone was just so suspicious from the beginning and my trust issues were through the roof, though admittedly I did predict the perpetrator early on and did find it a bit predictable.

This book really TESTED me. Shalini knows how to elicit the worst emotions out of you that makes Sarai’s rage feel palpable and 100% justifiable to the audience. Trying not to name drop the main suspects, but I was a volcano about to erupt every time Cisure opened her freaking mouth. One more word from her and I was going to LOSE it. I have a lot of unpleasant words for Cisure and the rest of the side characters, but Cisure is definitely number one on the list of people I would like to burn!! She was such an insufferable gaslighter I was on the verge of tossing my kindle across the room each time she appeared.

If you think you’re having a bad day, Sarai has it a million times worse. The things that happen to her are just so terrible and brutal it is impossible to dislike her. I wanted to hug her every time something happened to her. I really liked Sarai’s character and her sense of righteousness to combat all the injustice happening so that no one ever goes through the same horrible fate like her all those years ago. Her rage is quiet and bitter yet strong enough that you feel angry with Sarai and want to root for her. She is incredibly strong despite all the horrible things she witnesses and has happened to her, which makes her desire for vengeance incredibly justifiable.

“I will ask many things of you, but I will not ask for perfection.”

I am now adding Kadra to my book bf list because that man is EVERYTHING. Sarai’s first interaction with Kadra was so electrifying I was holding my breath the entire time. He’s ruthless yet fair, cruel yet kind. Everything he says to Sarai is so sweet and his actions even sweeter, making you ponder if his feelings towards her are real or merely a façade to manipulate and use her as a pawn for control. The slow burn was perfect for me and the romance definitely contributed to my high rating for this novel! We love a morally gray man who worships and raises you on a pedestal and will absolutely kill for you.

While I couldn’t really picture the Ancient Rome setting and struggled with the terminology, I highly recommend this book for fans looking for a well written dark romance and a well told political story with a satisfying ending!

Thank you NetGalley and Hodder and Stoughton for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review!

📚 Book Review 📚
This Monster of Mine | Shalini Abeysekara

🌟🌟🌟

Themes:

✨Political Intrigue
🖤Enemies to Lovers
🔥Slow Burn
🥀 Murder Mystery
🫶Non Binary Rep

Thank you @netgalley for allowing me to read this in exchange for an honest review

Sarai dreams of justice for an incident 4 years ago that’s left her scarred, her dreams of being a healer in ruins and her memory from that night gone. The only thing she can remember is the voice of a man.

Now oppurtunity has raised and Sarai is able to go back to the place this happened to find out who was behind her attack.

To do this she must agree to become a Petritor (like a prosecutor) and work for Kadra, one of the bloodthirsty ‘rulers’ of Edessa. Everyone thinks he’s responsible for the rise in deaths of Petritors and Sarai is shocked to realise it’s his voice she recognises.

From here it’s mystery, political intrigue and Sarai trying to find out the truth about Kadra and what happened to her 4 years ago.


The plot of this I loved, it had everything I love but I personally just felt like it was poorly delivered. It was quite disorientating with not enough world building, but in some ways too much? I found myself going back and rereading things to try and gain more understanding.

There was a glossary explaining what some runes do and explaining certain words or phrases, but I felt it could have been more extensive, for example rather than explaining the currency, I would rather have had explanations for what a Petitor or Tretarch is.

The characters were a mixed bag. I loved seeing Sarai desperately seek her vengeance, but others just felt a bit too obvious so any ‘twists’ weren’t really twists and I could pretty much guess who was going to be responsible from about 20% through.

I have however seen some people absolutely loving this, so as always, do decide for yourself, for me this just wasn’t a hit though.

I’m not sure if this a series I would continue, I’m intrigued as to what’s next but this wasn’t an amazing read for me.




Overall: 3/5
Plot: 3/5
Characters: 3/5
Spice 2/5

<blockquote>“The madman she’d set out to ruin was everything the most desperate, anguished parts of her had always craved.”</blockquote>

I HAVE NO WORDS. I ACTUALLY HAVE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE UTTER AMAZINGNESS OF THIS BOOK. I could not put it down. This is my favourite read of the month. No dispute. I could read a 100 sequels and still not get enough.

🏛️ dark political adult fantasy with romance
🏛️ SLOW BURN
🏛️ female rage.
🏛️ true enemies to lovers
🏛️ serial killer murder mystery (but she’s the victim!)
🏛️ Ancient Rome-esque politics and vibes
🏛️ lie detection magic
🏛️ morally grey characters

<blockquote>“You don’t bend. You’d rather break, but this land needs strength like yours. I’ve waited for it for years.”</blockquote>

Ohhh this book was DARK. 4 years ago, <b>Sarai</b> was thrown off a tower. Despite being healed, Sarai retains severe scarring but no memory of what happened that night. Hellbent on revenge, she seizes the first opportunity to become a Petitor to infamously sadistic and charming Tetrarch <b>Kadra</b>. Trapped in political battles, she must fight her growing attraction and work alongside Kadra - her prime suspect.

The prologue already had me GAPING. It was so dark but so insanely good, and learning about how it linked to the main conflict was so interesting!! Same for the rest of the novel, I think this was so well written and fleshed out. The foreshadowing was insane and when everything started to click it was so SO satifying. No notes.

The magic system and worldbuilding had me HOOKED. I absolutely loved how the political aspects were presented to further build upon the world, and the justice system was so realistically done. I also like the concept of “stormfall”, storms in which deadly lightning often strikes people and buildings, making them reliant on religion and the Tetrarchs to save them.

THE CHARACTERS??? Sarai, our main girl, is definitely a favourite. She’s so strong and determined, and the depiction of trauma and female rage is done SO WELL. I was rooting for her at every obstacle and felt rage on her behalf. She went through so much but never gave up on herself and others. She reminds me a lot of Inej Ghafa with her resilience and intelligence!! AND KADRA???? HE is the meaning of morally grey. Yes, he’s brutal, reckless and tough, but he’s also kind, funny and honourable!! I love that he doesn’t abuse his power as Tetrarch but uses it to fight for true justice. Sarai and Kadra balance each other out so well and UGH THE SLOW BURNNN the longing looks and comforting “friendly” hugs??? Will never get enough of it.

The side characters were also so well written bc I wanted to get rid of most of them so bad 😃 we hate lying manipulators!!

If you didn’t see me say this a billion times before, I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF THIS BOOK. I just found out this was a duology and am; I need it in my hands RN.

<i>Thank you to the author and Netgalley for the arc! This is my honest opinion.</i>

3.75 rounded up for goodreads and netgalley.
It was a pleasant surprise. The plot was very intriguing and it did not disappoint. It is a romantasy leaning more towards the fantasy than the romance, which I liked. The plot is definitely the strongest aspect of the novel, despite some (very) predictable and quite cliched things that happened, especially towards the end. But it did not alter my enjoyment. I liked the darkness of the storyline and the setting was also compelling.
The main character is fine, a bit too paradoxical at times (wants to be badass and is quite sullen but is actually very naïve) and the other characters are not to be trusted, which was not out of place in such a sinister atmosphere. The romance is a bit too sudden, it went from zero to a hundred and it lacked smoothness.

Thank you to Netgalley for an e-ARC in exchange for a honest review.

Equal parts devastating and exhilarating! I loved the setting and atmosphere, the relationship between Sarai and Kadra was so tangible and delicious! I will not be talking about Cisure, it is simply too painful

4.5

Ancient Rome inspired? Delicious slow burn? Touch her and die? Manipulation at its best? If you like the sound of those then this book is for you! We follow 18 year old Sarai as she embarks on a journey to a place where she doesn't belong and is constantly in danger, to get answers about who tried to brutally murder her 4 years ago. Here she meets Tetrach Kadra, an ice king, who she believes is the murderer in question.
The magic system in this book was so unique as it depends on symbols and the power of deceit. I found Sarai such a good main character, she never lost herself no matter what was thrown at her.
I did find it quite obvious who the perpetrators were but nothing prepared me for the chaos that ensued towards the end.
Will Sarai get answers? Well, read it and find out!!!

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for an e-ARC in exchange for my honest review.

What a dark and mysterious fantasy this was! The Roman-inspired setting was unique and in-depth, the magic system so interesting and the world lore well developed. I absolutely loved FMC Sarai, her bravery and determination to get answers were brilliant. Kadra is a perfect morally grey MMC. The brutal realities of life in the city, the terrible injustices and filthy corruption are too believable. While I accurately predicted who was behind many of the terrible things happening in Edessa, I still enjoyed the journey to get there.

Honestly the whole book was an insane ride, and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it. I'd recommend it to anyone who loves a very dark world, political intrigue and a slow burn romance.

This Monster of Mine by Shalini Abeysekara is a dark, hypnotic, and beautifully written story that completely consumes you. With an eerie, almost seductive atmosphere, it’s both intense and impossible to put down. The writing is phenomenal, blending darkness with moments of unexpected heat. If you love books that are haunting yet addictive, this one is a must-read. Easily one of the most anticipated releases of 2025—pre-order it now!

The best way I can describe my experience with this book is surface-level entertainment. As soon as Sarai had taken up her role as Petitor, I flew through the pages.
The characters, relationships, world, and mystery all felt pretty underdeveloped to me, and there were some inconsistencies concerning Sarai’s use of her concealment magic that were both confusing and lowered the stakes. The twists were pretty obvious, and the romance lacked built-up of romantic tension. How did the characters end up loving each other? I have no idea. The physical attraction was believable, but I needed more of the development of their feelings for each other.
Despite all this, I still found myself intrigued enough to keep reading. The premise is great, there are some fun ideas, and I think the book fits into what’s currently popular in the romantasy genre. Personally, I just needed more of everything.
The story doesn’t end on a cliffhanger, so can be read as a standalone, in my opinion.

Characters: 4/10 x4 (Mediocre)
Relationships: 3/10 x4 (Bad)
Atmosphere/Vibes: 5/10 (Average)
World-building/Setting: 3/10 x2 (Bad)
Writing: 6/10 x4 (Okay)
Plot/Pacing: 4/10 x3 (Mediocre)
Enjoyment: 6/10 x5 (Okay)
Total: ~4.57 = 2.5*

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book has consumed me. I have NO words for just how much I enjoyed the wild ride that This Monster of Mine took me on, Shalini Abeysekara you are a genius. I knew I was going to enjoy this book as soon as it was marketed as an Ancient Rome inspired romantasy.. like come on????? More please???

This Monster of Mine is fast paced, thrilling, exciting, it has the most agonizing slow burn romance (I am in pain), and it had me gasping for air half of the time. I honestly stayed up till 4am two nights in a row because I couldn't get enough of this book.

Shalini has a beautiful way of twisting words, the plot was so well thought out, and the characters?????? don't even get me started. ( I would like to be a wine glass). Sarai was a brilliant FMC, she was strong, loyal, desperate to get answers, and above all I loved seeing how she struggled with her emotions throughout the book as new secrets were uncovered.

Kadra....... I am unapologetically on my knees for you. What a man. He is a brilliant, sharp minded man. He's cruel, unforgiving at times, but he is also shrouded in secrecy and he's one of those characters you can't help but want to know more about. Guys, I didn't even blink at half of his actions - I would forgive and forget anything this man does. He is divine madness.

Shalini's world building was picturesque and detailed, I really felt like I was walking amongst the towers, and meeting with the other Petitors alongside with Sarai.

Definitely read the trigger warnings for this one before steeping in - The prologue had me reading it through my fingers, its gory but it ended up being so important to the story, and if you can overcome it I promise the story is worth reading.

I'm unsure if this is a stand alone or a duology (please give me more) but either way it was rounded up so well and I would absolutely love to see more of these characters in the future, your honour I love them.

This is a contented for my top 2025 book and I will be screaming and shouting about it to anyone who will listen. My mind is still reeling from how much I enjoyed it.

A stunning debut from one of my new favourite authors who I will read anything from.

For me personally, I didn’t gel with the story and found myself forcing to keep going further. The idea for the book is interesting tho. I had to DNF in the end sadly

Stayed up until 1am to finish this and it was totally worth it.

The characters and world and mystery were all *chefs kiss*.

Thank you to NetGalley, the author, and the publisher for granting me an advanced read!
I appreciate how dark, atmospheric, and different this one was. The characters were unique and typical roles (the main character, the dark powerful love interest, the female best friend, for instance) were subverted beautifully and felt like real people. I am glad this wasn't an academia setting (although the FMC could have been a little older) which also added variety.
Moreover, I am glad this appears to be a standalone or at least doesn't end on a cliffhanger/awaiting resolution. The ending 20% percent were really strong and managed to be tense and scary which is very difficult and rare achievement. The violence and trauma had actual repercussions without being gracious and I loved that for once the heroine wasn't a perfect kickass saviour and didn't truly want to be more powerful or more successful.
The small drawbacks for me that at some points (especially the beginning) was hard to figure out and a bit convoluted because they had to add to the mystery. Probably the relationship could have been developed more organically, at one point it seemed to constantly change and in general the FMC wasn't scared enough initially from Kadra considering she was suspecting him and this decreased the stakes somewhat and lessened the surprise of who the villains were. But I guess a lot of this might have stemmed from the standalone constraint.
All in all, this was a really good debut and I am expecting a lot from the author since it is a unique voice and style that I often feel the genre is lacking nowadays.

R E V I E W

This Monster of Mine by Shalini Abeysekara

Advanced Reader Copy graciously provided by Hodder & Stoughton | Hodderscape via Netgalley

☆☆☆☆☆

For a romantasy debut, this book packed one hell of a punch. This Monster of Mine is an Ancient Rome-inspired allegory of manipulation and deceit, whereby an innocent girl, desperate to make a name for herself, unknowingly finds herself the centre of an infamous mystery when she is flung from a five-story tower.

Four years after the fall, with a new face, the power to hide her scars and a mind unwilling to reveal its truths, Sarai re-enters the cutthroat, corrupted city that spelled doom for her in the past, intent on righting wrongs and seeking justice. As the newest petitor (see: human lie detector) to the city's leadership, Sarai quickly makes a name for herself as someone unwilling to compromise her values for position like so many others.

Heedless of the outcome, Sarai joins forces with the dark and mysterious Tetrarch Kadra, whose mellifluous voice she finds oddly familiar, to unearth malfeasance in the city, sentence the guilty and hopefully, solve the mystery surrounding a string of dead petitors before she can become on of them. But with vengeance never far from her mind and an unnerving knowing growing between her and her bloodthirsty boss, Sarai must decide if the answers she's sought for so long are worth the pain in the attempt to gain them.

I was gripped from the outset of this story, despite the dark nature of the Sidran Tower Girl's origin story. The world created here, along with the fascinating magic system, was impressive and had me glued to every page, trying to foresee an outcome for Sarai when darkness loomed in every corner. The slow-burn romance between her and Kadra was intricately woven until their love felt inevitable, and his admission toward the end, heartwrenching. I can see the author has left clues for a potential sequel or spin-off, but even if this remains a standalone, it is well worth the read!

I absolutely LOVED this book!
I did struggle slightly at the beginning to understand all of the different aspects of the world building but after a few chapters I was completely sucked in and couldn't put it down.

I adored the world building in this, the magic, the academy/ruling settings and the politics of it all. This book seamlessly blends a murder mystery, political intrigue and a power struggle while introducing the reader to wonderful main and side characters. Serai was so strong willed and fiesty despite all the push back she receives and Kandra with this dark, mysterious personality had such strong chemistry even tho they appeared to have conflict constantly. I loved that their alliance developed of out respect, the burn was soooo slow, but so worth it!

Although there are clues as to who the culprit is from the beginning, there were other unexpected storylines interwoven with the plot that kept me on the edge of my seat the whole way through the book. It was so satisfying whenever another piece of the puzzle was revealed.

I can't recommend this book enough, I can already tell it'll be one of my favourites of 2025.

Thanks to Netgally for the ARC, this is my honest review.

This has been a hugely anticipated book for me and I screamed when I got approved for it on here

I absolutely loved the magic system and worldbuilding in this however will admit I was semi-confused for the first few chapters.
There was a lot of social commentary throughout this, which was expertly done. It didn't feel in your face at all.
This was a slowwww burn and I am here for it. The romance takes a backseat on this, so prefer for it to be more plot driven - which is the best kind of fantasy book, lets be real. There's so much political intrigue, and
the plot in general was just expertly done. Consider this an adult version of The Cruel Prince... But in Rome... And with spice... haha

The feminine rageeeeeeee. That is all.

This is an amazing debut novel, and I can't wait to see what comes next from Shalini Abeysekara

This slow burn, political fantasy which starts with the death of the main character and then has the main character explore how and more importantly, WHY she died, was incredible. It was an intriguing premise and a seriously impressive execution. I think that more than anything, the world building in this story was what astounded me the most. It was wonderfully intricate and really engaging. The story itself was also incredible with how the plot unravelled, I was completely enraptured throughout. Unfortunately, I was not a huge fan of the romance element of this but it was a gateway for the main character, Sarai, to embrace her darker emotions, which I enjoyed immensely.

4.5 ⭐️ Lawyers set in Ancient Rome with magical powers? Sign me up. I really enjoyed this book. I found it hard to put down at times. The FMC is empowering and relatable, she's wracked with rage and pain over what happened to her years previous to this story - it was easy to root for her revenge. The slow burn romance was amazing and was the secondary focus to the plot. Will definitely be on one of my top reads of the year.