I absolutely loved it. It was such a rich and compelling story and I couldn't help but be enamored by the word that has been created.

Sarai and Kadra are great MCs with so many layers, and I loved seeing where their stories went.

My only fault with it was Sarais childhood best friend and their relationship, I felt that the same thing kept happening and she never learnt from the situation, but apart from that I really really loved he story and world!

This book follows Sarai as she attempts to find out what happened to her when she was almost murdered four years ago. She has the magical ability to tell when people are lying, which was used as a very intriguing plot device, which kept me questioning people’s motives the whole way through.

The twists and turns kept me on the edge of my seat, I could not put this book down! The characters are likeable and unique, and the tension between them is off the charts and so well written. I was rooting for them even though I was questioning if he was her would-be murderer!

I cannot recommend this book enough. If you like romance, mystery, magic, and tension then this book is for you! Even if you don’t you’ll probably still enjoy it.

Five stars all across the board. Shalini is so good at the craft, worldbuilding, character development and more. You must read this! The characters make sure to ask for consent before touching and that is always a good thing to see. Sarai is one of the best characters I’ve ever read about. The way her background is written is mysterious and well-executed and the choices she makes in the present are admirable. Stunning.

Well Crafted - But Not For Me‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ₊⊹⁀➴ 3.5
─..★.──────────

The setting for this one really appealed to me and I was excited to read another murder mystery set in a fantasy world. This book delivers on the setting and the mystery elements. It was gruesome and tense and wonderfully threaded with feminine rage.

Sarai is an emotionally complex FMC with a truly horrifying backstory that sets you up to be invested in her pursuit of truth and vengeance. I think a lot of readers will like her, and it's so important that we see characters like this represented in SFF genres. I would love to see more books centred around women, and around victims and their experiences, from this author.

Unfortunately Kadra (our MMC) doesn't hold up to Sarai's level of depth, he is a fairly generic and heavily stereotyped pseudo-villain who we are supposed to fear but never really do. It's also clear from his first appearance that he likes Sarai, and that she finds him physically attractive. I think I would have liked more suspense than that (and more groundwork being laid for romantic interest).

If you are a reader who doesn't prefer a slow-burn from your pairings you might have a better experience with this one. I'm demi, and my preferences will influence how I read romance so... YMMV. The setting is lush and the writing is dark and satisfyingly gritty. Please check the trigger warnings provided by the author before diving in.

Thank you to NetGalley and Hodder & Stoughton for providing an eARC copy in exchange for an honest review.

────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────
✦ Content Warnings: gore (descriptive), PTSD w/ panic attacks, transphobia
✦ Rep: queer and diverse cast, PTSD
✦ Mood: dark, historical, tense

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Hodder & Stoughton for the ARC.

What a fantastic debut from Shalini. You're thrown right into the story, with the opening prologue giving some indication of the violence to come.

The plot follows our fmc, Sarai, a barmaid in an isolated northern village that treats her like shit. She's saving up to head south to Edessa, the capital city, and attend the Academie there to become a Petitor (they can use their magic to discover if people are lying), so she can find out who tried to murder her 4 years ago. A chance meeting has our FMC dashing south to skip the normal years of tuition and become a Petitor straightaway.

In Edessa, she not only has to prove herself worthy of the Petitor position but also has to fight to keep the moral high ground in a pit of vipers. I really like Sarai as a character and following her story as she comes to terms with the violence inflicted on her and the loss of friendship was heartwrenching. Our MMC on the other hand falls into the fairly cliche brooding overpowered mystery, but I love how much respect he shows for Sarai.

Our author doesn't hide the darker side to people, with corruption, violence, salvery, dehumanisation and degradation front and centre of the story. The story is dark and shocking, but you're rooting for Sarai throughout as she fights for justice.

If you're into strong world-building building this may be a pass, while the character development was great, the world-building is very surface level; do not expect much Roman inspiration, other than a few latinesque terms the world itself doesn't feel particularly Roman, both architecture and the clothing had me thinking it was set in a european medievalesque world, so I'd reccomend just ignoring the blurb setting description (additionally I would say this isn't for you if you're expecting standard Romantasy, the romance is slow burn (which I love) and the story is driven by plot rather than romance). The magic system was interesting but confusing at times and massively underutilised, but the plot and well-written prose do make up for these shortcomings.

Overall, a fantastic debut by Shalini. I'm looking forward to seeing what comes next

DNF

In recent years we've had a whole lot of books that give priority to tropes over plot and this one's no exception. Unfortunately, I cannot bring myself to finish it, at least at the moment. I don't think this one's for me.

Yes yes yes. This book was absolutely wonderful and I devoured it from start to finish in a couple of days. I could not put this book down. As soon as I finished I immediately went to my local Waterstones and purchased myself a physical copy. I’m already really excited to reread this book and be back with the characters. Sarai and Kadra were just everything to me and I still think about them on a daily basis. I loved the unique world and magic system that we were introduced to in this book. Whilst I found it to be complex in certain aspects the author has a really lovely writing style in which it doesn’t feel complex and it is really easy to immerse yourself into without feeling lost and confused.
I felt like I was so invested in the whole story but especially the subplot of what had happened to Sarai 4 years ago and the whole whodunnit revenge element of this book. It was easy to love the characters you were meant to love and despise others … you know who you are.
I still cannot stop thinking of this book and these characters and mainly just Sarai and Kadra.
I cannot wait to read more from this author and this is a book I will be shouting about for a very long time.

This is a tough book to rate, because while I can acknowledge the creative magic system and world-building, the execution wasn't the best and was often overshadowed by the so-called romance. And oddly enough, the middle was the part I liked best.

Let me explain. This story revolves around the mystery of the Sidran Tower Girl, a 14-year-old who fell off this tower and vanished, both physically and from records. She became legend. She is also very much alive and our FMC. And where is she now? An 18-year-old tunnel rat desperately trying to gather the coin to go back, figure out what happened and make her attackers pay.

I’ll be the first to admit revenge plots aren’t my fave, but I went in knowing what I was getting into. Sadly, the part that did intrigue me most—the mystery—was quite predictable. By the 20-25% mark I knew how the book would play out almost beat for beat. Pattern recognition and all that playing a bit against me, but what annoyed me about it was mostly FMC behaving like a fool around the MMC. I don’t mean due to her feelings for him (though also that), but rather her certainty that it was him who’d pushed her off the tower despite all evidence to the contrary.

So, I went from a bit bored during the first 20%, to mostly engaged in the middle (though sighing at the predictable reveals), to properly annoyed throughout the last 20%. The first convenient break I let slide. By the second my eye started twisting, and honestly by the end I’d given up on this story not relying on clichés and convenient timing/escapes.

The dialogue also needed work, especially Cisuré’s lines (and characterization, because what an over-the-top character, Jesus), and the last 20% between the FMC and MMC. Painfully cheesy.
Additionally, the magic system was underdeveloped and under-explained. Not everyone has the same kind of magic, got it. They use runes, got it. Except when they don’t.

I’ll end my tirade by saying this—ironically, for a story about female rage, I’m not sure this would pass the Bechdel test. (Which isn’t the best measure for anything, but still. Ironic.)

As for whether I'll continue, I'm not sure. Ask me again in a year. I went in thinking this was a standalone, plus I'm satisfied enough with this ending. But don’t let this review deter you. I’m clearly in the minority and I think this book will be loved by its audience.

Many thanks to NetGalley, Shalini Abeysekara and Hodderscape for the chance to read and review this book.

Another roman inspired fantasy for me to devour! Dark romantasy at it's best, I couldn't put it down. The slow burn along made it worth it for me! I've just seen there will be a sequel and I'm so excited to read it!

I really enjoyed this book, I didn’t want to stop reading at all! Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a copy of this book.

I received this from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
This book hit all the right spots for me. This is going to be a long review so get ready. I finished this book a day ago and my mind is still spinning. I want to reread it another few times to pick out all of the little details that I missed the first time around.
It took me a little while to really sink into this story because the terminology was a bit heavy. I didn't have a clue what half the terms were. Did this put me off? No, I might've read the beginning a bit slowly because of it but it didn't put me off. And do you know why it didn't put me off? Because of the writing. The descriptions, the visuals and the emotions were all efficient and effective. Everything flowed so effortlessly that reading it was an absolute delight. The plot was more than the romance and yet the romance was as consuming as the plot.

The world building - heavy for the first 30% of the book, describing the world, the magic system, justice system and how things differ from Sarai's home village. The premise of the whole world is just so rich and full. Everything from how the poor scrape by to how the powerful are corrupt. The magic system is a unique one for me. It's got a bit of elemental magic and some rune magic, but melded together into something all it's own. Magic is woven into the justice system and both elements showcase the other, so there isn't a big long explanation about how it works. One scene outlines it and following scenes fill it out. There is a big disparity between the powerful and the poor and its a prevalent theme throughout this book. However, it isn't in the descriptions. It's in the observations, the interactions. The author shows and tells you things subtly and in such an unobtrusive way so not to interrupt the flow. The world building is robust, as is the magic and justice system, which the whole plot depends on.

The plot - Sarai just wants justice. She wants to find the bad man who tried to kill her four years ago. She ends up back where she started, being appointed as a Petitioner. And this is where the plot really begins! It's a roller coaster of emotions, of political intrigue, backstabbing and betrayal. Plots and subplots are abound in this amazing story. I adored the twists and turns and the journey that Sarai and her 'boss' went on. This book was about more than just revenge or justice, it was about growth, being brave in the face of utter terror, healing and growing beyond what they thought they could be and what they deserved. There was political intrigue, betrayal, murder, violence, attempted murder and so much more in the plot and I want more.

The characters - What a list of amazing characters there are to choose from. The characters are written in such a way that you either love them or love to hate them. The emotions that these characters evoked just proves how well written they are. Most of the characters are either corrupt or ready to be corrupted and those ones are written so well. Part of you wants them to become a villain just so they will be defeated in the end. Another part might just enjoy their warped view of the world. Most characters are products of their upbringing, bringing old resentments into their adulthood while others are just evil and seduced by greed.
Sarai - our FMC. Raised from a tunnel rat to a grape picker, but always dreamed of more until tragedy sent her back to the hellhole she came from. By the time she reaches the city, she is angry. Angry at the world, her place in it and everyone else. She meets with her friend Cisure and together they become Petitioners. Sarai meets her tertarch, Kadra and his voice is familiar. While working together, Sarai feels that at the very least, Kadra had been there four years ago. He is her monster, she is tethered to him for life after becoming his Petitioner. The spectrum of emotions that Sarai goes through throught this book is vast and her character development is epic. She is so relatable in a way most eighteen year old characters aren't. There's no whining, no whimpering, just total determination. She is not a total badass, she has her fears, her trauma and she deals with things in her own way. This shows a maturity that is born from her past, even before her fall. She was on her own at an early age and had to grow up quick or die. What I love is that she is so independent but not 'cut your nose off to spite your face' kind of independent. She is strong because of her past and also because she survived. As the story progresses, her independence shows more as she finds out who she is outside of her role as Kadra's Petitioner and what she is capable of.
Cisure - Sarai's best friend. she knows about Sarai's past, had been there when they had sent her home after her fall. She has been in the city ever since the fall, training to be a Petitioner. She has her sights set on Aelius. And after every single one of her appearances, I hated her a little bit more. That's what I loved about this book.
Kadra - The MMC. He is cold, calculating and violent. He. Is. Everything. I don't know how much to say here because I don't want to ruin it. But the transition between enemies to allies to friends to lovers is a SERIOUS SLOW BURN but so utterly divine because of it authenticity. He keeps his cards close to his chest but when he starts to let Sarai in, you start to see it. The lifts of one side of his mouth. A glint in his eye. The strange way he stares at her, as if he couldn't quite decide something. He is cold, calculating and violent for very good reasons and I have to say, I think his logic is sound. He has power and he is NOT afraid to use it.
Aelius - magus supreme and leader of the Tetrarch.
Tullus - another member of the Tetrarch.
Cassandra - another member of the Tetrarch.
Anek = representing non-binary and they/their pronouns.

The romance - This is a SLOW BURN, forced proximity , enemies to lovers. Kadra and Sarai save each other repeatedly, their respect and trust in the other growing until one epic spice scene. After that, all bets are off. Touch her and die. I loved their journey and I think I loved it even more because it wasn't a focus. Their romance wasn't the whole point of the story. It was exactly what the story would've been missing. But their growing connection strengthened them, it made them a team and was a real juxtaposition to nearly every single other character in the book. I think it was what made their romance burn brighter because Kadra had been self-isolated, never wanting to need anyone or anything and Sarai showed him that he mattered to someone who didn't rely on him, someone who wouldn't use him and then discard him when he wasn't useful anymore. Kadra gave Sarai acceptance from the very beginning, he didn't need perfect. He didn't want it. He gave her a confidence in herself that she never had.

The end - THERE WAS NO MAD RUSH AT THE END! Everything was well paced and so meticulously planned out. I adored how the book was written in the final quarter of the book. How loose ends were acknowledged and questions were answered. AN SO MUCH MORE! I cannot stop thinking about this book and CANNOT wait until the next book comes out because I need more!

A dark revenge tale that had me second guessing who really was the enemy.

Sarai has been through hell. After recovering from a tragic fall she is biding her time in her village waiting for the day when she can fulfill her dreams of being more and getting revenge. However, when she finally gets her chance her enemy becomes the person most closest to her and omg was that a wild ride.

I honestly didn’t really know what to expect reading this but I fully enjoyed every moment. One thing that really surprised me was the mention of physical flaws. As someone who suffers from Dermatophagia I found it really intriguing seeing things like scars used in a plot like this. It felt like being seen if I’m honest.

The romance was a slow burn which I loved but the best part about this book was its revenge plot. One of the most satisfying revenge stories I’ve read, it had me feeling all sorts of highs and lows.

I got to the end and it kind of fit as a standalone but very much also open ended so I am curious if there is a next book and what it will follow. My guess is it may follow Cisure and her journey.

This was such a good Roman inspired fantasy with really cool worldbuilding and interesting magic systems. The central murder mystery plot kept me intrigued throughout, along with the slow burn romance!! If you love strong female protagonists and brooding morally grey love interests then this is the one for you!

5 stars
Content warning: murder, death, torture, body mutilation, gore

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a digital copy to review. All thoughts are my own.

I can confidently say that This Monster of Mine will easily be in my top reads of 2025. I didn't know I was craving an Ancient Rome-inspired dark fantasy novel until I read this and became feral for it. Full transparency as a previous classics student with a penchant for Ancient Rome - I simply saw those two words in the marketing and applied for it, not knowing how blood-soaked and dark Sarai's journey to becoming a Petitor would be and seeking vengeance for the torturous crimes that happened to her four years prior. This level of torture and grit would normally deter me from reading a book like this. I actually had a moment when I started the prologue that I worried about what I had signed up for. Because, boy, was that scene an eye-opener to the type of dangerous bloodbath Sarai and the reader would return to four years later.

BUT!! I am so unbelievably glad that I didn't let the initial gore throw me off because this is a mastermind of political intrigue, city and leadership corruption, deadly uncovering of past murder mysteries, and ruthless justice. I loved Sarai from the start. She has gone through so much in her life, born on the streets, and then after her attack that should have left her for dead. Watching her return to the scene of her crime, and further, try to uncover who was behind the sinister attacks on the previous dead petitors was rewarding. She arrives back in Edessa with two goals - to prove that she will be a law-following petitor, and seek out her lost memories so she can discover who almost killed her and changed her body forever. I enjoyed reading her realise that not everything under Tetrarch Kadra's tutelage would keep her on the lawful pathway, nor did she desire to stay upon it by the end. Kadra's bloodthirsty approach to crime in his quarter makes more sense the longer spent at his side and highlights the absolute tyranny and deceit those in power hold over the city.

Whilst I guessed some twists, there were so many moments where characters or scenes happened and I was left dumbfounded or shocked by the utter audacity. I enjoyed that despite the slow pacing of this story, it kept me on my feet for most of the read. This is helped by fantastic characters - both core and supporting ones - and rich world-building. I had no issues imagining where this story took place or the type of people surrounding Sarai thanks to the craftsmanship of Abeysekara's writing. I constantly kept thinking, "How is this a debut novel?" when plot twists would unravel and leave me speechless. I also was highly impressed by the rune and blood magical system taking this politically charged book from a dark academia-type read into fantasy. The magic is subtle yet potent and used to help or hinder society and individuals. I appreciated how Sarai wielded her magic, to help her hide in plain sight from those who wronged her. I also liked how it affected the city as a whole and played exceptionally well into faith and citizen belief. This was so well thought out and structured, and weaved in core elements of the time period that made it feel wholly believable.

I've seen a few comments saying this isn't romantasy because the storyline is so heavily focused on Sarai uncovering the secrets of Edessa, but I will argue strongly for this type of romantasy to become the norm. The simmering tension between Kadra and Sarai was BEAUTIFUL. I was all but begging for the culmination by the time their slow burn hit its peak. I have an entire chat with my best friends of me just uttering the word "Kadra" dramatically over and over. The way this man made me feral for him is insane. The romance is constantly there, and with every action Kadra makes throughout this story, you can feel just how much he is utterly lost on Sarai. I love nothing more than this ruthless male willing to drop to his knees and let Sarai use him at her will. The loathing that turns to yearning is so well done, I will take this type of romance each and every time. The character and emotional development were superb and I could honestly wax on about this pair forever, that's how much I loved the romance aspect of this story.

The way this story concludes is extremely satisfying and could be a standalone with how well things are wrapped up. However, thankfully for readers who have enjoyed this, Shalini Abeysekara has announced it is a duology, and I for one, cannot wait to return to this world again. This book honestly changed me.

4.5⭐️ Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this arc.

I actually really loved this one. It was dark, twisted, and mysterious fantasy, with a slow-burn romance. It was a little slow for me to get into at first, but the atmosphere, plot and characters were captivating and I couldn’t put it down.

I would definitely recommend this book!

The brutality of the first chapter of this book really captivated my attention. I needed to know what was happening and why and found that i couldnt put it down untill i did. I liked alot about this book:
-Brutality of the world and characters
-MMC is the ultimate morally grey man
-FMC strong character but not in a boastful way
-Discussion on class divide
-Discussion on Gods and mans relationship and how it is wrongfully floated on earth
-Political commentary- im not usually one who cares for this but i did like it in this book
-Magic system was interesting (Though id like to know more about it and its origins)
-Slow burn romance that i was FULLY onboard with

4.5/5

Exciting, intriguing, a great debut story! A compelling fantasy with just the right amount of mystery. The romance was also chef’s kiss, the burn was slow and I was addicted.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love characters with no moral compass!!!

I love characters doing terrible things out of love such as maiming, killing and just general debauchery to protect those that they love. Kadra? Love him, more like him in future. He's terrible but for all the right reasons, he wants the world to be a better place and he will take a few limbs on the way. Sarai is complicated and I love complicated, she does have a moral compass but it's not the one we expect to see. She's wanting justice, she wants fairness but this doesn't match what her world wants.

I love the setting of this, it's Ancient Rome with a bit of magic - chefs kiss. I like that the magic system isn't unexplainable and that everyone is different in skill and strength.

My only issue is that at small parts, the writing seemed to jump a little and it just seemed a little messy. Just one quick edit would rectify this but it's not a huge deal at all.

I did not realise this was a duology but I will need the second part immediately, please and thank you.

Huge thanks to Shalini Abeysekara, Hodderscape and Netgalley for this ARC. Massively enjoyed!

READ THIS BOOK!

This romantic fantasy debut is EVERYTHING you want in a book!

Set in a fantastical world based on Ancient Rome and with enough political intrigue and plot twists to make your head spin, TMOM is one to watch. The first in a duology and set to be one of my favourite reads of the year.

Shalini, you're incredible!

I absolutely love This Monster of Mine. I initially found it a little bit difficult to get into so. So much so that I actually went back after 15% and restarted the book but I'm so glad I did this and stuck with it because by the end I was obsessed with it! There is initially a lot of world building and introduction to a number of characters but once you get to grips with the characters it flows really well and I couldn't put it down. The characters are complex and felt very real. I loved the slow burn romance and the development of the plot. Overall a really great fantasy book which I will definitely be recommending! Look be keeping an eye out for future work by this author.