This Monster of Mine by Shalini Abeysekara is a dark, hypnotic, and beautifully written story that completely consumes you. With an eerie, almost seductive atmosphere, it’s both intense and impossible to put down. The writing is phenomenal, blending darkness with moments of unexpected heat. If you love books that are haunting yet addictive, this one is a must-read. Easily one of the most anticipated releases of 2025—pre-order it now!

The best way I can describe my experience with this book is surface-level entertainment. As soon as Sarai had taken up her role as Petitor, I flew through the pages.
The characters, relationships, world, and mystery all felt pretty underdeveloped to me, and there were some inconsistencies concerning Sarai’s use of her concealment magic that were both confusing and lowered the stakes. The twists were pretty obvious, and the romance lacked built-up of romantic tension. How did the characters end up loving each other? I have no idea. The physical attraction was believable, but I needed more of the development of their feelings for each other.
Despite all this, I still found myself intrigued enough to keep reading. The premise is great, there are some fun ideas, and I think the book fits into what’s currently popular in the romantasy genre. Personally, I just needed more of everything.
The story doesn’t end on a cliffhanger, so can be read as a standalone, in my opinion.

Characters: 4/10 x4 (Mediocre)
Relationships: 3/10 x4 (Bad)
Atmosphere/Vibes: 5/10 (Average)
World-building/Setting: 3/10 x2 (Bad)
Writing: 6/10 x4 (Okay)
Plot/Pacing: 4/10 x3 (Mediocre)
Enjoyment: 6/10 x5 (Okay)
Total: ~4.57 = 2.5*

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book has consumed me. I have NO words for just how much I enjoyed the wild ride that This Monster of Mine took me on, Shalini Abeysekara you are a genius. I knew I was going to enjoy this book as soon as it was marketed as an Ancient Rome inspired romantasy.. like come on????? More please???

This Monster of Mine is fast paced, thrilling, exciting, it has the most agonizing slow burn romance (I am in pain), and it had me gasping for air half of the time. I honestly stayed up till 4am two nights in a row because I couldn't get enough of this book.

Shalini has a beautiful way of twisting words, the plot was so well thought out, and the characters?????? don't even get me started. ( I would like to be a wine glass). Sarai was a brilliant FMC, she was strong, loyal, desperate to get answers, and above all I loved seeing how she struggled with her emotions throughout the book as new secrets were uncovered.

Kadra....... I am unapologetically on my knees for you. What a man. He is a brilliant, sharp minded man. He's cruel, unforgiving at times, but he is also shrouded in secrecy and he's one of those characters you can't help but want to know more about. Guys, I didn't even blink at half of his actions - I would forgive and forget anything this man does. He is divine madness.

Shalini's world building was picturesque and detailed, I really felt like I was walking amongst the towers, and meeting with the other Petitors alongside with Sarai.

Definitely read the trigger warnings for this one before steeping in - The prologue had me reading it through my fingers, its gory but it ended up being so important to the story, and if you can overcome it I promise the story is worth reading.

I'm unsure if this is a stand alone or a duology (please give me more) but either way it was rounded up so well and I would absolutely love to see more of these characters in the future, your honour I love them.

This is a contented for my top 2025 book and I will be screaming and shouting about it to anyone who will listen. My mind is still reeling from how much I enjoyed it.

A stunning debut from one of my new favourite authors who I will read anything from.

For me personally, I didn’t gel with the story and found myself forcing to keep going further. The idea for the book is interesting tho. I had to DNF in the end sadly

Stayed up until 1am to finish this and it was totally worth it.

The characters and world and mystery were all *chefs kiss*.

Thank you to NetGalley, the author, and the publisher for granting me an advanced read!
I appreciate how dark, atmospheric, and different this one was. The characters were unique and typical roles (the main character, the dark powerful love interest, the female best friend, for instance) were subverted beautifully and felt like real people. I am glad this wasn't an academia setting (although the FMC could have been a little older) which also added variety.
Moreover, I am glad this appears to be a standalone or at least doesn't end on a cliffhanger/awaiting resolution. The ending 20% percent were really strong and managed to be tense and scary which is very difficult and rare achievement. The violence and trauma had actual repercussions without being gracious and I loved that for once the heroine wasn't a perfect kickass saviour and didn't truly want to be more powerful or more successful.
The small drawbacks for me that at some points (especially the beginning) was hard to figure out and a bit convoluted because they had to add to the mystery. Probably the relationship could have been developed more organically, at one point it seemed to constantly change and in general the FMC wasn't scared enough initially from Kadra considering she was suspecting him and this decreased the stakes somewhat and lessened the surprise of who the villains were. But I guess a lot of this might have stemmed from the standalone constraint.
All in all, this was a really good debut and I am expecting a lot from the author since it is a unique voice and style that I often feel the genre is lacking nowadays.

R E V I E W

This Monster of Mine by Shalini Abeysekara

Advanced Reader Copy graciously provided by Hodder & Stoughton | Hodderscape via Netgalley

☆☆☆☆☆

For a romantasy debut, this book packed one hell of a punch. This Monster of Mine is an Ancient Rome-inspired allegory of manipulation and deceit, whereby an innocent girl, desperate to make a name for herself, unknowingly finds herself the centre of an infamous mystery when she is flung from a five-story tower.

Four years after the fall, with a new face, the power to hide her scars and a mind unwilling to reveal its truths, Sarai re-enters the cutthroat, corrupted city that spelled doom for her in the past, intent on righting wrongs and seeking justice. As the newest petitor (see: human lie detector) to the city's leadership, Sarai quickly makes a name for herself as someone unwilling to compromise her values for position like so many others.

Heedless of the outcome, Sarai joins forces with the dark and mysterious Tetrarch Kadra, whose mellifluous voice she finds oddly familiar, to unearth malfeasance in the city, sentence the guilty and hopefully, solve the mystery surrounding a string of dead petitors before she can become on of them. But with vengeance never far from her mind and an unnerving knowing growing between her and her bloodthirsty boss, Sarai must decide if the answers she's sought for so long are worth the pain in the attempt to gain them.

I was gripped from the outset of this story, despite the dark nature of the Sidran Tower Girl's origin story. The world created here, along with the fascinating magic system, was impressive and had me glued to every page, trying to foresee an outcome for Sarai when darkness loomed in every corner. The slow-burn romance between her and Kadra was intricately woven until their love felt inevitable, and his admission toward the end, heartwrenching. I can see the author has left clues for a potential sequel or spin-off, but even if this remains a standalone, it is well worth the read!

I absolutely LOVED this book!
I did struggle slightly at the beginning to understand all of the different aspects of the world building but after a few chapters I was completely sucked in and couldn't put it down.

I adored the world building in this, the magic, the academy/ruling settings and the politics of it all. This book seamlessly blends a murder mystery, political intrigue and a power struggle while introducing the reader to wonderful main and side characters. Serai was so strong willed and fiesty despite all the push back she receives and Kandra with this dark, mysterious personality had such strong chemistry even tho they appeared to have conflict constantly. I loved that their alliance developed of out respect, the burn was soooo slow, but so worth it!

Although there are clues as to who the culprit is from the beginning, there were other unexpected storylines interwoven with the plot that kept me on the edge of my seat the whole way through the book. It was so satisfying whenever another piece of the puzzle was revealed.

I can't recommend this book enough, I can already tell it'll be one of my favourites of 2025.

Thanks to Netgally for the ARC, this is my honest review.

This has been a hugely anticipated book for me and I screamed when I got approved for it on here

I absolutely loved the magic system and worldbuilding in this however will admit I was semi-confused for the first few chapters.
There was a lot of social commentary throughout this, which was expertly done. It didn't feel in your face at all.
This was a slowwww burn and I am here for it. The romance takes a backseat on this, so prefer for it to be more plot driven - which is the best kind of fantasy book, lets be real. There's so much political intrigue, and
the plot in general was just expertly done. Consider this an adult version of The Cruel Prince... But in Rome... And with spice... haha

The feminine rageeeeeeee. That is all.

This is an amazing debut novel, and I can't wait to see what comes next from Shalini Abeysekara

This slow burn, political fantasy which starts with the death of the main character and then has the main character explore how and more importantly, WHY she died, was incredible. It was an intriguing premise and a seriously impressive execution. I think that more than anything, the world building in this story was what astounded me the most. It was wonderfully intricate and really engaging. The story itself was also incredible with how the plot unravelled, I was completely enraptured throughout. Unfortunately, I was not a huge fan of the romance element of this but it was a gateway for the main character, Sarai, to embrace her darker emotions, which I enjoyed immensely.

4.5 ⭐️ Lawyers set in Ancient Rome with magical powers? Sign me up. I really enjoyed this book. I found it hard to put down at times. The FMC is empowering and relatable, she's wracked with rage and pain over what happened to her years previous to this story - it was easy to root for her revenge. The slow burn romance was amazing and was the secondary focus to the plot. Will definitely be on one of my top reads of the year.

I am having a hard time writing this review because I enjoyed this book, and there are a lot of good things in there (the worldbuilding is fascinating, the characters are all well developed and some of them are also quite intriguing and the plot is captivating. We also have magic and some fascinating places to visit and a social commentary to it all, too) but it was also an extremely frustrating read, mainly because I had so many problems with the MC. Mind me, I liked her and it’s not that what she does or thinks doesn’t make sense, but it was a really frustrating experience. So I don’t really know where to start, but I’ll try to follow a semblance of order!

First thing first, the Ancient Rome inspiration. It’s one of the main selling points of the book, and it has a strong appeal, that’s for sure. To be honest, I was expecting something slightly more here. We have the influx, especially in the political structure and in the words that relate to that, and it is pretty good but… the author could have been a bit more heavy-handed with that and still do a good job. But maybe this is just me.
Anyway, the world-building is quite fascinating, and at the center of it we have the political situation and the political structure of this world, and it is so on point with today’s world too. (And this is quite sad, to be honest, but it is by no means the book’s fault.)
But, aside from the social and political commentary, the politics here are intriguing and they are really well-developed too. It is a tad predictable but this doesn’t take away a single thing from this book. It is immersive and it is intriguing, and it is also pretty hard to put down.

Another thing I strongly appreciate here is the slow burn. It’s really slow and I loved it! Even if I had problems with Sarai. She is a strong main character, and I admired her strength and her willpower. She is death-set to make herself justice (and others too), and she is resourceful and smart. But… but there were so many times I wanted to scream at her because she is quite clever so if only she thought things through everything would have gone smoother (I am not saying that everything would have been better and things would have been easier, but smoother yes!). I lost count of how many times I was there thinking “Just think, FFS!!”. So yeah, even if she is quite good as an MC, I found her mostly frustrating.
Kadra, on the other hand, was everything the synopsis promised us and more. He is 100% swoon-worthy (if moody, broody, and bloodthirsty are your things, that’s it). Anyway, with him I was on board since the beginning. And I can go on fangirling for quite a bit. He is just soooo good!

Kadra was the best, and that’s it. But the secondary characters are all well-developed. To be honest, most of them were despicable, and I wanted so many of them gone so bad!! But not a single of them felt plain or bi-dimensional. And, obviously, not all the secondary characters were bad people! Anek was the most intriguing, and I really hope to get more of them in the next book (ah, yes, I almost forgot but I thought this was a standalone but… nope, it’s the first in a series!) because, as I said, they were intriguing (and they have a ton of unexpressed potential!). And then we have Cato and Gaius. I have yet to make up my mind on Cato, but I mostly liked him and I think there is more to him, too. While Gaius was just nice to have around.

This book was really hard to put down (frustration aside, because I was tempted to throw the Kindle away a couple of times!) and it is a great debut, that I can say for sure. Also, Kadra is a good reason on his own to read the book. But with him, you will get a fascinating world and a ton of politics and intrigues (and bloodbaths!), too!

I think I need to give this another go but with an audiobook.
There were points in this that grabbed my attention. But most of the time I just wasn't invested enough.
I felt detached at times.
But there's potential here. Which is why I'm willing to give it a second chance in audiobook format.

This book has easily become one of my new favorites, possibly even my top read of the year so far. I originally picked it up because it was a FairyLoot pick, and sometimes I like to read the books before deciding whether to renew or skip. THANK GOD I DID. Could you imagine my life if I had just skipped it? Miserable.

From the very first pages, I was completely drawn in by the world building and the magic system. It’s intricate, fascinating, and at times a bit overwhelming (it took me half the book to realize that havïd means f*ck, but that’s because I’m dumb lol). But what truly made this book stand out for me were the characters. I know some people might be put off by the fact that Sarai is only 18, but I SWEAR she doesn’t read like a typical YA protagonist. She’s not some naïve, whiny teenager, she’s been through hell, and it shows. She’s strong, determined, and absolutely badass, but at the same time, she’s broken in a way that makes her journey all the more compelling. Watching her seek revenge and fight for herself and *cough* others *cough* was incredible.

And then there’s Kadra. THAT MAN, GOD. He’s the kind of character who commands every scene he’s in, he’s powerful, ruthless when he needs to be, but there’s so much more beneath the surface (he's so FUNNY!!!!!!). The tension between him and Sarai? Perfection. Every interaction, every charged moment had me completely hooked. I loved their relationship. And, since we’ve established that I’m dumb and never see things coming, I literally gasped at the ribbon thing (iykyk).

This book made me want to never put it down. I had to force myself to sleep, and it was horrible lol It’s dark, gripping, and completely unputdownable.

If you’re on the fence about picking it up, let this be your sign: read it.

Thank you to NetGalley and Hodderscape for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

This monster of mine

Thank you NetGalley and Hodderscape for the arc!!

This story has a great and probably the craziest unhinged premise (with equally unhinged trigger warnings so please read those before you read it) and I was hooked from the prologue! One thing about me, I love a great who done it mystery story in any given context and genre, and I probably would have loved it more had I not predicted the whole thing 15% into the story. It’s why I probably didn’t love this as much as I hoped which I blame myself for but I couldn’t ignore the obvious signs (or have I watched too many cop dramas to find most things predictable? Probably?).

While the plot was okay given its predictability, I wish the author would have expanded more on the world building and given us more insight on the justice system and the people that uphold the system this story so heavily relies on. I wish we would have gotten more backstory and layers to why characters acted the way they do. The magic system as well, it seems so cut and dry and given this is a romantasy, I understand wholeheartedly why it was written the way it was but even then, the connection she so greatly wanted to weave between our fmc and mmc didn’t really convince me. However, I did appreciate the slow burn. I just needed MORE. There was no tension given that (spoiler) the mmc presumably threw her off the tower. I needed to see that connection from hate, to understanding that this man isn’t as terrible as he seems (which we got but it seemed so brushed over to me), that she had gotten it wrong and might now have done it and that bridge between he might not be so bad to she like him to she might possible love him (because that love bomb at the end there really threw me for a loop). (End of spoiler)

However much I didn’t love this, I will say that it will appeal to a lot of people because the level of unhinged and disrespect I witnessed in this book fully made me want to jump into it and throw hands. Romantasy lovers (not that I’m not, but I am a full fantasy romance subplot lover) you will enjoy this one. Just, again, look at your trigger warnings cause this book is insane!!

3.75⭐️’s

Incredible start to a dark, gory and intense duology that doesn’t shy away from the violence, corruption and wrath that comes with justice. Abeysekara has done something utterly different while still managing to maintain a world of familiarity through references to Roman mythology, instances of Latin and frustrations with a system doomed to see your downfall.

Sarai was such a compelling lead, with strong convictions and a sense of justice you can’t help but root for. I felt so deeply for her. I experienced her frustrations firsthand. I wanted her vengeance as much as she burned for it. Her enemies are now my enemies. I’m obsessed with her. Kadra, I get it.

I liked the slowness of the romance in this as well, how it only comes to a culmination near the end. And the end itself!!! I’m going to go crazy waiting for the next book!!!! What am I gonna do until summer 2026?!?!?!?!?

This book was an absolute masterpiece and exactly what I’ve been searching for! Set against the backdrop of Ancient Rome, it weaves together political intrigue, romance, and a gripping plot that never lets up. The justice system, in particular, was brilliantly crafted and utterly fascinating.

The story centers around Sarai, a woman with magical powers, including the rare ability to sense lies. Four years ago, she was nearly killed in a violent and mysterious attack that left her with permanent scars and fragmented memories. Determined to uncover the truth about what happened to her, Sarai returns to the city as a Petitor, a prosecutor serving under the Tetrarchs (judges).

Over the past few years, a strange and terrifying trend has emerged: Petitor candidates have been dying at alarming rates, with entire graduating classes either taking their own lives or fleeing the city. Sarai refuses to become another statistic, but as she delves deeper into the mystery, she begins to wonder if these deaths are truly suicides.

Sarai’s investigation leads her to Tetrarch Kadra, a man known for his cruelty. She’s drawn to him for reasons she can’t fully understand, especially since all the evidence seems to point to him as the one who attacked her. The dead Petitors were seen in his presence before their deaths, and now, Sarai must work alongside him. The chemistry between them is undeniable, and every interaction between them crackles with tension. Despite her suspicions, Sarai finds herself captivated by Kadra, and their dynamic is nothing short of electric. He’s the kind of complex, intriguing male character I adore, and their romance is one of the highlights of the book.

The way this book blends mystery, magic, and romance is truly exceptional, and I couldn’t put it down!

If I could give this book 6 stars, I would! And you’re telling me it’s a debut??

This Monster of Mine has everything you could ever want in a dark romantasy: a story that feels fresh, an interesting magical system, an ancient-Rome inspired world based on the judicial system, mysteries and secrets, characters you love and characters you hate with a passion, a slow burn with just the right amount of spice, and so many quotes to save and reread.

Both leads are morally grey and it’s impossible not to love them. Sarai is such a strong character, always true to herself, with her weaknesses and strengths. Kadra is equally flawed, and it was great to see their relationship blossom: it added depth and raised the stakes of the story, without being overwhelming. The secondary characters are varied, there’s plenty of representation and it’s always done in a way that feels effortless.

The pacing of the book was also well executed, there are faster paced moments and slower ones, but the emotional impact of the story is always high and it makes the book impossible to put down. The author does a great job of evoking the character’s emotions, and it makes the book so much more impactful! I also love that it stands as a standalone, but I’m already craving more and hoping we can revisit this world and these characters.
OMW to get my grabby little hands on a physical copy of this book as soon as possible!

Thank you to Netgalley, the publisher, and the author for an arc of this book.

Wow, what a pleasant surprise. A dark, twist sort of pleasant, but pretty great, nonetheless!

I feel like calling this a romantasy is misleading, because while Sarai and Kadra's romance is important to the story, the mystery regarding Sarai's attempted murder and the conspiracy about the dead Petitors takes up much of the focus. A fact I will not complain about at all, for it went so much harder than I expected. It tackles abuse of power, particularly from the wealthy, discrimination, prejudice, misogyny, the true meaning of justice, I was thoroughly surprised how in depth these themes were debated and examined.

The dynamic between our main duo was interesting, too. Kadra is obviously a messed up dude, but he also heavily respects Sarai and challenges her worldview repeatedly. His methods in doing so are questionable, especially because his tactics are to manipulate and withhold a lot of crucial info from her, but he does develop out of that after Sarai calls him out on it. Sarai herself does match his freak in being equally, if not more, messed up. Between the multiple angles of discrimination she faces and the debilitating trauma she experiences from her fall, the girl goes through a <i>lot</i>. Her choices are never perfect, obviously, but they're perfectly in line for her character. It certainly doesn't hinder her intellect or justice sensitivity, especially when it comes to solving her own mystery. These two made a wonderful dynamic as they bounced on/off each other. The guy literally murders for her and she's still down to makeout with him. Honestly? Good for her.

The only element I found lacking was the worldbuilding. I understood it's based off ancient Rome, but the constant use of Latin threw me. There was this one 'H' swear they kept on using, and I had no idea what it meant. There are multiple gods who people worship, but there's also the indication there are saints due to a nickname a side character gets. I also didn't wrap my head around the physical realm of the world besides the whole northern vs. southern bit. Maybe I would understand it better if I ever reread this in the future.

All in all, this was a solid debut from Abeysekara. I kind of hope whatever she publishes next will take place in this world again. Not only for worldbuilding purposes, but I do see a lot of potential in further exploration. I definitely will be keeping an eye out!

IThere was an Initial lore dump with names of things, people and places threw me a bit at the start but past 15% it eases up and the story really takes over.

The narration feels mature and there is a breadth of vocabulary used. Sometimes I felt like I wasn't sure where we were or what the characters looked like because the focus was on the story rather than the context.

I hate the girl who is supposed to be her closest friend and disliked her from the start. I hated most of the side characters actually, which is evidence of good writing.

40% in and was just desperate for more tension and interactions between the two main characters, they've barely said a few words to one another.

I knew who pushed her from chapter 2, I thought it was obvious but it dragged out that reveal until 65% in which confused me. I'm still not clear on the why of it all tbh

I was also hoping to see more of the magic system, especially when people have access to powerful magic, we only saw the FMC use bits of hers

I generally enjoyed the story, and corrupt people in power feels very on brand at the moment, I'm excited to see where this author goes next.

FMC: 18
MMC: Not alluded to