Amazing! Loved it!

I was so excited for this book. A dark romantasy with Ancient Rome vibes? I just had to read it.

Kandra was brutal, sadistic, a “mad man” but we love him!! Morally grey to the T. I was loving the interactions between Kandra and Sarai. There was something in particular she couldn’t do and she was really embarrassed by it and his reaction was just…. *happy sighs* There was a part in this book where a small tear fell from me because Sarai was so vulnerable. The spicy scene in this didn’t overshadow this amazing story. It was so beautifully written.

The female rage, the magic system, the storms and the slow burn romance?? Perfect! The ending was amazing. I’m so happy that this is going to be a duology. I need this book physically in my hands.

Thank you @hodderbooks and @Netgalley for this ARC.

"Because the madman she'd set out to ruin was everything the most desperate, anguished parts of her had always craved"

To say I ate through this is an understatement! This gives you slow burn all the way through, and oh lord, it makes it so worth it. Although the beginning feels somewhat slow, understanding the world and law is needed, which helps build the drama for later.

If you are looking for a short fantasy mystery make it this book! It's truly worth every second!

I loved this book. Even though this book is set in a fantasy and historical universe, it felt so relevant to the world we live in today. Reading is usually an escape for me, but this book strikes the perfect balance between being entertaining and hitting uncomfortably close to home. A brief summary of This Monster of Mine is about Sarai, who was almost murdered, and then 4 years later she returns to the capital to become a Petitor (similar to a prosecutor), whilst also investigating and plotting her revenge on who attempted to kill her, which is made easier when assigned to her number 1 suspect, Kadra, a Tetrarch (similar to a judge).

What I love about this book is the depth and complexity in characters and worldbuilding, which are the most important aspects for me. Despite the story having a fantasy setting and being inspired by Ancient Rome, the book felt realistic and relatable, exploring themes of political and justice corruption, abuse of power, the wealthy avoiding consequences, and blind faith in religious and political leaders. Sarai works with Kadra to solve murders of former Petitors, but as she goes deeper she discovers secrets that could put her and everyone around her in danger. The world is so rigid in its beliefs that they have to fight against everyone, including one of their friends.

The political intrigue and the fight for justice were my favourite parts of the story, but I also enjoyed the romance. It had one of my favourite tropes: enemies to lovers. The romance felt natural and well developed without overshadowing the central plot of murder and corruption. I loved this book and know I’ll read it again in the future. I’d recommend it to readers of any age. While teens might not understand all the real world parallels, they’ll still enjoy the narrative and characters. Whereas adults will appreciate the deeper messages and meanings throughout the story.

A fast paced book with some twists and turn. The concept is interesting and the characters complex but I did has trouble getting a visual on them.

Sarai and Kadra are great together 😍

The mystery was gripping and the world building intriguing. This was a fun read. Then add in the relationship between Sarai and Kadra and I was hooked.

I enjoyed the magic system and the Gods. This was also a well paced standalone, with a satisfying ending.

I thoroughly enjoyed the love story and how alike they are. It was all for The Sidran Tower Girl 😭

Thank you to Netgalley, the author and publisher for an eARC copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

3.5 out of 5 stars

"I belong to you," he whispered against her hair. "I will always belong to you."

This Monster of Mine follows eighteen year old Sarai as she seeks justice for a tragedy that befell her four years prior. She’s quick to discover that her main suspect is the man she is forced to work with. The only man who can help her and that despite everything, the man she desires. As Sarai continues on this journey of discovery lines blur and life-long truths are shattered. Who can she really trust?


It was so nice to read a romantasy book that doesn’t just feel formulated to attract booktok by using as many tropes as possible (even when they make literally ZERO sense). This Monster of Mine really felt so mysterious and original while simultaneously incorporating my favourite aspects of a good hate to love relationship. I really appreciated that while Kadra is cold and cruel, his anger is never directed at Sarai. It was lovely to see a character who has been afforded no gentleness in the world to finally be treated with kindness and I think that was what made me adore their relationship even more. I’ve always adored FMCs who are willing to do anything to get what they want (I'm thinking Jude Duarte and Kidan Adane) and Sarai is no exception.

The structure of the magic system was a bit convoluted at times (there’s a few elements I'm still unsure about) but personally, I can easily over look that if I am invested in other aspects such as characters and romance. I found that the Roman inspired aspects were integrated very well into the story and it was easy to understand language changes and such.
Also the ending ? I won’t spoil anything but I really hope another book is published in this series.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and HoddenBooks for this ARC!

I was eagerly anticipating this release since I've seen the author's pitch on reddit ages ago. Enemies to lovers romantasy with forced proximity, murder mystery and bigger political conspiracy in the background? Sign me up. And I must admit, it delivered - the tension, the mounting dread, the plot twists... After 60% I couldn't put the book down and while I usually read a chapter per day, I stayed late at night to finish this. I think it benefitted from being positioned as adult rather than upper YA. Not only do we get an extended spicy scene, but the ruthlessness of the world feels more realistic and palpable with kid's gloves off.

There is HEA to the romance for the romantasy readers out there, but a slightly bittersweet tone to the ending overall, which matches the dark, oppressive and corrupt world created. I swear I would not be happy if we got a neat bowtie ending (cough, Winter's Orbit).

The protagonist, Sarai, once tried to escape poverty and get to an elite mage academy in the capital - she nearly got murdered. Now, older, scarred, with amnesia, ptsd and permanent disability in the form of hand tremor, she tries to seek truth and justice while getting embroiled in a big conspiracy underpinning power plays in the big city.

I liked how representation was done: except Sarai's disability and darker skin colour, we also have a non-binary side character (Anek), a gay side character (Cato) and a lesbian side character (Cassadane).

The romance leaned towards the slow burn side. While there were glimpses of attraction from the get go, it avoided the common problem of characters being smitten too easily and forgetting themselves too quickly. I liked how Sarai reminded herself "he's only nice because he wants to sway me to his side" or "so what he's handsome, he could have been the man who tried to kill me". I haven't seen this trope done well since I've read The Cruel Prince. Protagonists too often forget they should not trust the love interest in enemies-to-lovers plots.

However I'd say it was a bit one-sided enemies to lovers. Sarai suspected Kadra, but Kadra held no enmity towards Sarai and was overly nice to her for a supposed monster and sadist. The worst one could attribute to him was treating people as pawns but that's different from treating them as enemies.

I wish the enmity / suspicion was stronger and suspicions towards Kadra having more hints. All the time I was wondering did he know Sarai is THE girl all along?

I also wish we didn't have a strong divide between who's sexist and classist and who isn't. The best villain is the one you'd never suspect, the wolf in sheep's clothing.

What I truly appreciated is a portrayal of a messy friendship with all its consequences. I miss this dearly in fantasy. Friends are usually idealized ride-or-die people who are more understanding and supportive than a blood family. It was truly heartbreaking to see Sarai have nobody else to turn to and confide in Cisure, while Cisure had a worldview of a person blind to their own privilege and spinning Sarai's suffering to be all about how it was unpleasant for her.

The writing was very efficient in conveying what needed to be said in short amount of words. The dialogues were snappy and to the point. The revelations were acknowledged quickly (I hate nothing more than a character monologuing for paragraphs to convey they finally figured the plot twist out). The descriptions were brief but vivid. Especially when it comes to all the gore, corpses, and mc's ptsd descriptions, they were sufficiently unsettling without falling into gratuitous.

One little mannerism annoyed me and that was how in scenes with Sarai and Cisure the phrase "the other girl" was overused.

Oh, and also the cringe post-sex-scene lines like "good girl" and "you came" joke. For a book this dark and serious it felt like taken from some light-hearted tik tok romantasy.

I really enjoyed the worldbuilding, the magic system with runes, the take on religion, the social system that's theoretically a democracy but actually has a lot of corruption and nepotism. The themes of class injustice and how the rich avoid the law while the poor suffer were extremely strong and very important in this day and age. I feel too many fantasy novels draw the lines of discrimination based on race, having magic, or being a fantasy creature, and not enough of them focus on class divide and discrimination of poor people.

I like how the cover references kintsugi technique which symbolizes Sarai's scars, and that she's stronger and more beautiful due to what she's been through. I usually prefer character(s)'s portraits on the cover, but I've read opinions that an "average reader" defaults to picking covers with white people which disadvantages books with POC characters. From this perspective, maybe it's better to see a marble hand than a portrait of a brown-skinned girl on the cover. Even though I love unashamed portrayals of all races and cultures in fantasy. We need to celebrate them more.

I'm slightly disappointed though the scene the author posted on the social media with Sarai holding a dagger against Kadra doesn't seem to be taken from the book. I'd love me some good "knife to the throat" scene. However, there was plenty of "female rage" nonetheless and despite the claim Sarai is a "quiet girl" she was plenty proactive. I wouldn't call her quiet, more like not having much expectations from life and others. What can I say, jaded, cynical and a bit bitter protagonists are my favourite.

This was an extremely strong debut, well-written, well-plotted, with characters you either love or love to hate. Here's to my 2025 reads staying as strong for the rest of the year.

Thank you Netgalley, and Hodder & Stoughton / Hodderscape for the ARC!

4.5****

This book was so amazing that I might need to also purchase the hardcover when it comes out.

This was a brutal fantasy set in an Ancient Rome inspired world.
Sarai was brutally almost killed four years ago at the prestigious Academie - she does not remember who hurt her, but she does vow to go back to get her revenge.

When the opportunity arises, she is able to go back to the place and investigate and seek her vengeance.

Tetrarch Kadra is a dark and broody “Ruler” of Edessa (there are four Rulers), known for his cruelty and bloodshed.

Their paths obviously intertwine and the rest of the book goes from there.

I loved all the scenes with Sarai and Kadra and their interactions- the dance of it. It was alluring.
Sarai is also one of the best multifaceted Female Characters I have read who will stay with me.

The author does so well delving into the politics and civilisation of the book and the magic system is not hard to follow at all.

Altogether I really enjoyed this book and it will stay on my mind. … I just wish I realised the glossary was at the end of the book instead of me typing separate Notes (doh!)

Thank you to Netgalley for the E-Arc!

I loved this so much!
It was written SO well. I flew through this book so fast.
The setting was beautiful, and I hope we get more books like this from Shalini Abeysekara!

Only read this if you have a very strong stomach as it is very dark. Very graphic torture. Unfortunately this was too much for me and I had to DFN for my own good. I hope others enjoy this plot more than I did as it sounded amazing in the blurb, just too graphy and gory for me.

I adored that this book was set in Ancient Rome, we need more fantasy books based in Rome! Sarai was a really relatable & likeable FMC, I was rooting for her from the beginning. She was complex and her romance with Kadra was IMPECCABLE. I really enjoyed this ARC, thank you. I highly recommend!

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

I AM FREAKING OUT BY HOW DELICIOUS AND AWESOME AND AMAZING THIS IS!!!!! I love the sh!!!t out of it, I am obsessed, I am Kadra's wine glass and Sarai's glower, THIS BOOK IS PHENOMENAL AND I HAVE OFFICIALLY LOST ALL BRAIN CELLS AND COHERENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dark romantasy perfection, people!!! YOU NEEEEEEEEEEED TO READ THIS!!!

Sarai was viciously attacked four years ago, and she doesn't know who did it or why. She vaguely remembers a beautiful voice but not much else. She was born in poverty, without education or a family. All she's ever known is despair and people telling her what she was and what she couldn't do. The world has been awful to her, and yet, she wants to help those who have suffered like her--and there are plenty of those. When given the chance, she goes to Edessa to finally get some power, some status, and some answers about what happened to her. Sarai is angry and determined, persistent and unyielding. She is a force to be reckoned with, and if I didn't hate her enemies, I would pity them because nobody stands a chance against an angry woman who has been wronged time and time again.

Kadra is the brilliant and powerful (in all ways!) Tetrarch "assigned" to Sarai when she becomes a Petitor (a kind of prosecutor whose magical power is to discern lies and truth). He is cruel and brutal, but he is also just and fair. He has a horrible reputation among his enemies and their allies, but he is revered among his people and his personnel. They literally rally around him to protect him even from a naughty Petitor lmao. I loved how they loved him because he deserves it. He puts everything in the line for them. But he has his secrets and he has done things that horrify even himself. I loved him so much! He is the consent king and such an intuitive person. He observes with his keen eyes and evaluates with his sharp mind, and did I say that he is freaking brilliant and CONSENT KING IN EVERY WAY?!?!?!?!

I love every mad and vicious inch of that man. And so will you! Sorry, Sarai, but the man is delicious!

The worldbuilding is Ancient Rome inspired, and there were some things to get used to, but I think it was portrayed very well. My brain cells were all KADRA KADRA KADRA so I had to force myself to focus on some worldbuilding things but that is def my problem lmao. I've been too obsessed with Kadra since the first scene, and well, it's his fault that he fried my brain cells. Anyway, great worldbuilding! Vivid, lush, and absolutely brutal!!!!!! Excellent pacing, as well!! I enjoyed the book's rhythm and I simply went with the flow loving every delicious second of it!

There's some spice but wayyyyy towards the end!

I've been told that this is a duology and whoa how relieved I am because holy sh!!!t I wouldn't be able to handle reality if we only had one book with them!! It's definitely a standalone, though, and it doesn't end at a cliffhanger! You only see the seeds for book 2!

COMPELLING! DELICIOUS! CONSENT KING AND ANGRY GIRL COMBO! DROP EVERYTHING AND READ THIS ASAP!!

I'LL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THIS BOOK!!

This Monster of Mine is a standalone Romantic Fantasy and debut book from Shalini Abeysekara and OMG this book is absolutely incredible and interesting, I loved it so much.

This Monster of Mine must be one of the most fascinating and unique books I’ve ever read. Set in a world based on Ancient Rome and with the justice system as one of its main topics, this book kept me on the edge of my seat with so many secrets, hidden agendas and plot twists, I couldn’t put it down. The plot was so interesting, the author really showed her genius with the justice system and based on it magic and I loved how everything that happened was connected and all the little details that later on made so much sense and made all the revelations so much more satisfying, I felt like I was right there in the story with Sarai and Kadra trying to solve the mystery of what’s happening and what exactly happened 4 years before.

Sarai was an amazing FMC, despite everything that happened to her in the past she was really strong and never gave up, I loved how she tried to find the truth of what happened while trying not to lose her morals in the process. Since this book is told from Sarai’s POV, like her, I had so many conflicted feelings when it came to Kadra, but I always love the morally grey MMCs with questionable motives so it was only a matter of time before I fell for him and was rooting for him and Sarai. This book is a bit more focused on the plot than the romance, but I still really loved Sarai and Kadra’s slow burn romance, despite many secrets and their complicated (and hidden) past, they were perfect for each other and I loved seeing them slowly begin to trust and open up to each other, I especially loved all their conversations and how they always kept the other on their toes, they were just perfect together and I loved them.

This Monster of Mine is an incredible romantasy book that I really can’t recommend enough, it has amazing characters, interesting plot and world building, slow burn romance and jaw dropping plot twists. I absolutely loved it and can’t wait to read more books from this author.

Six stars if I could!

This Monster of Mine is a masterclass in fantasy storytelling—combining political intrigue, betrayal, and a rigid class system with a slow-burn romance that keeps you on edge. It’s sharp, dark, and utterly compelling.
The world-building is next level. Set in a scientific, Rome-adjacent fantasy world, it feels familiar yet entirely unique. As a history student who’s studied Latin for years, I was blown away by the care and precision in crafting a world that mirrors real historical structures while being fresh and imaginative. It’s immersive, richly detailed, and so cleverly done that you’ll want to linger in every scene.
The romance? Deliciously tense. It’s the kind of slow burn that makes you ache for every glance and word exchanged. The FMC and MMC share a dynamic that’s equal parts dangerous and vulnerable, with both characters navigating their own doubts and fears. It’s not a romance that overwhelms the plot—it enhances it, adding stakes and depth to an already gripping story.
Thematically, this book doesn’t pull its punches. It examines class struggles, systemic inequality, and societal expectations with a sharpness that cuts deep. But what makes it brilliant is how seamlessly these themes are woven into the narrative—you feel their weight without being lectured.
Representation shines here. Sexuality, gender, and relationships are handled with effortless inclusivity, normalized in a way that feels both refreshing and necessary.
What truly sets this book apart is its characters. They’re flawed, layered, and achingly real. The FMC’s scars play a pivotal role, both physically and emotionally, and the way they’re explored is nothing short of poetic. Strength and vulnerability coexist, making her one of the most relatable and memorable protagonists I’ve encountered in a long time.

This Monster of Mine is raw, impactful, and unforgettable. From the first page to the last, it grabs hold of you and doesn’t let go. Keep the trigger warnings in mind—the author’s ability to evoke emotion is powerful, and some scenes hit hard.

This is a book that stays with you. It’s one I’ll be shouting about for a long time.

I loved the Ancient Rome-esque setting of this book - it immediately set it apart from other stories. The book kicks off in such a dark way which I loved, and I felt plunged into the story very early on.
I've genuinely never felt so unsure of an MMC and his intentions. He seems so mysterious and twisted, and it was thrilling slowly unravelling the story. Every time I thought I had something figured out, another plot twist would change it all up.
I also loved the diverse set of characters.

Some of the more intricate details of the magic and political system were lost on me - it felt like a lot to keep on top of at times. Ultimately, I really enjoyed this story and found it difficult to put the book down!

Thank you so much to Hodderscape for the ARC via NetGalley and for giving me the opportunity to share my honest thoughts on this book.

A twisty tale full of political intrigue and mystery. I thoroughly enjoyed this one but would say it doesn’t read romantasy to me, it’s a political fantasy with a romantic subplot.

Lots of rep in this - disabled, POC FMC, non binary side characters and more.

This Monster of Mine by Shalini Abeysekara is such a good book. I totally recommend everyone to read this book as fast as they can because it's really good and the characters are fantastic.