Waiting for a Party

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“And today, it is not the morning after, hah, there are unlikely to be any more mornings after, but memories surge, fighting for attention, placing themselves one on top of the other, like hands in a child’s game. She wants to hold onto them and re-live the palimpsest that is her life and she wants to remember everything. Memory is all. Memory is her life now.”

Vesna Main followed her cleverly structured Goldsmiths shortlisted Good Day with the stunning Only a Lodger … And Hardly That: A Fictional Autobiography, my favourite book of 2020, and a highly literary and yet very personal, and moving, meditation on memory and ageing.

Waiting For A Party is perhaps more conventional in form, but equally powerful in its exploration of similar themes, and confirms her place as one of our finest novelists.

The novel is narrated by Claire, aged 92 when the novel opens, who is waiting for her “son” Zach, aged 62, to take her to the 102nd birthday party of her friend, originally her husband’s friend, Martin, an author of detective novels.

As she waits, her memories roam over her life, particularly her later life. She married her husband when she was in her early 20s, he, a doctor, more than 20 years older, and her life, and her nascent musical career, was rather subordinated to his, him also treating her rather paternally and patronisingly (always referring to her “my dear, little Claire”).

He died when she was in her early 50s, following an overdose from the medicine he was prescribed after a stroke - and the circumstances of that - whether it was accidental or deliberate on his behalf, her own culpability and her rather passive reaction, carrying on talking to her friend although she suspected something had happened and delaying calling an ambulance when she found him - are one theme she returns to in her recollections.

But much concerns her life after his death, starting with her first sexual assignation, a decade after his death, when she was aged 62 (the ages ending in “2” a theme whose meaning wasn’t clear to me - symbolic or convenient to anchor events and people decades apart?). This the opening to the novel:

“Yes. She remembers the full moon, a large, luminescent paper collage against the sky, the fuliginous sky. That was the word he used, the word that stuck with her. She remembers the sharp lines of the full moon. Later, the image made her think of a picture drawn by a child, with the sky’s sootiness, threatening, noxious, replaced by dark navy blue, and a sprinkling of scintillating stars. She doesn’t remember there being stars on the night, but they entered her memory at some point and remained. That image, the transformed image of the view from the car parked to the side of Petersham Road, became associated with the man. But despite what the symbolism of the moon might suggest, she doesn’t remember him as cold and changeable. Perhaps he was but she could not tell at the time, nor could she tell that later but, if pushed, she would read the connection between him and the image that stood for him in her mind as implying art, meaning artfulness, artificiality, even affectedness, and play, as in lack of seriousness, unpredictability, randomness. Ultimately, he remained an enigma but, in her memory, art and play stand for him and for the experience they shared that night.”

Another strand concerns her unconventional family arrangement. Zach is someone thirty years her junior (now 62 - another 2). Originally they were lovers but she realised he was in denial about his sexuality and introduced him to Gabriel, a novelist, and started to think of Zach as her son (making her a Jocasta as she likes to label it), which in any case was how people tended to treat them when they dined together or booked a hotel.

“Gabriel, her lovely son-in-law. Her novelist son-in-law. His novels have intriguing covers, works of art in themselves. She prefers editions that have no pictures on the cover, classical, minimalist, à la Gallimard, or Fitzcarraldo. All titles with the same plain cover and easily recognisable. But if you are to have a cover, it ought to be designed with care and a great deal of thought. She remembers hearing a publisher saying they were proud to be making books like works of art.”

And in another weave of her thoughts she thinks of what her life has ultimately amounted to:

“Or perhaps her obituary should say she had the potential to become someone, a professional musician of some standing but she accepted her failure and she was content. Shouldn’t there be obituaries about people who accepted failure? Isn’t that more difficult than riding on success? A Nobel Prize for graceful failure and the acceptance of one’s lot, the ultimate acceptance without regret. A Booker, a Goncourt for coming to terms with one’s failure. Many entries and most well-deserving of the prize. Why not? She remembers a friend, a writer, a poet, a wonderful poet, introducing her to a poem by Yeats, yes, ‘To a friend whose work has come to nothing’. A handsome man he was. Anthony. Yes, that was his name. Could he still be around? Unlikely. Older than Martin. Very unlikely. And she remembers the lines ‘Because of all things known / that is most difficult.’ Most difficult, one’s work coming to nothing. Yes. But . . . but, yes, she had been happy throughout her life. She had a long life, she loved and she was loved. That could be mentioned in the obituary. And she had some great sex. Gosh, everyone would be envious but no one ever writes such things in an obituary. A pity. There is something warped about our hierarchy of achievements. Oh yes, she acquired a son, and what a marvellous son, when she was sixty-three. Not many women can boast that.”

Impressive and moving. 4.5 stars

I genuinely have been wishing for a book like this. I've been anticipating it so much that I decided to stop reading it at a certain point because I want this book in my hands so I can highlight, underline, and annotate all my emotions. However, I do love the explorations of sex and aging. Can't wait to have this book in my hands!

I have read several works by Vesna Main, and I am always impressed by her writing. 'Waiting for a Party' is absolutely no exception. Fundamentally, this is a novel that is uplifting - it challenges assumptions of age and sexuality, and of love. This is what Vesna Main does best: challenges readers to think and rethink. Claire, the protagonist of this novel is 92, and the novel opens with her waiting for her ex-lover, now adopted son, Zach, to take her to a friend's 102nd birthday party. Claire ruminates on her life and her loves; her marriage and the death of her husband; her relationship with Zach; her sex life. I found it utterly moving, and I know the ending will stay with me. What a great privilege to read the ARC - my grateful thanks to NetGalley and to the publisher. Very highly recommended.

"Waiting for a Party" by Vesna Main is an extraordinary novel that intricately explores the nuances of human relationships and the search for meaning. Main's narrative is both profound and accessible, capturing the essence of her characters with remarkable depth and empathy. The story centers around a group of individuals navigating their personal struggles and connections, each character vividly brought to life through Main's skillful prose.

Main’s writing shines with its eloquent descriptions and keen psychological insights, making the reader feel intimately connected to the characters’ journeys. The novel’s structure and pacing are expertly crafted, drawing readers into a compelling exploration of identity, belonging, and the complexities of social dynamics.

"Waiting for a Party" stands out for its emotional resonance and intellectual engagement, offering a rich and rewarding reading experience. Vesna Main has crafted a novel that is both thought-provoking and deeply moving, making it a must-read for fans of contemporary literary fiction. This book is a testament to Main’s talent as a storyteller, leaving a lasting impression with its eloquence and humanity.

Waiting for a Party sees ninety-two-year-old Claire reflecting on her life as she waits to be taken to her dear friend’s 102nd birthday party. Martin was originally her husband’s friend. She married Bill when she was just twenty and he was in his forties, coming to the rescue of ‘my dear, little Claire’ when she fainted, a story he loves to tell at dinner parties. When he died in circumstances about which Claire seems a little confused, it took ten years for her to finally come into herself to the relief of her dearest friend, Patricia, now long gone. She knew she could look after herself despite Bill’s taking care of things for so long but had not expected the sexual awakening she enjoyed at sixty-two. As she looks back at her long life, Claire recalls its rich and varied path and the friendships that have meant so much to her.
Vesna Main’s novella takes the form of a long stream-of-consciousness interior monologue which explores many themes: love, marriage, friendship, sexuality, loss and ageing, and, of course, memory. Despite the care Claire has taken of herself, she knows she will never have the joy of being desired again, remembering the lovers she took after Bill’s death, not least, Hal, the love of her life. Her memory is clear although sometimes she confuses things that happened long ago – perhaps she should have rung 999 when she heard Bill cry out rather than talking to Patricia – making her a pleasingly unreliable narrator. Bill slowly emerges as a monstrously selfish, coercive character, despite Claire’s many reassurances to herself that they were happy. An enjoyable, skilfully crafted piece of fiction from Main which has made me want to explore more of her work.

This book!! Unexpected but very good and well written. I love stories like this, we need more! We should all live our life no matter the age we are. Sometimes we need a wild ride to help keep us alive. This book does just that. I won’t give away any spoilers but this took an unexpected turn and I was living for it! Thank you for sharing this with the world!

A very interesting novel which is basically the meandering thoughts and reflections of an older woman as she waits to get ready for a party. Claire reflects on her marriage to her late husband Bill, her friendship with Patricia, who has also now died, and the various sexual encounters she has had with other men over the course of her life.

It's fascinating as we feel we are being let into someone's most innermost and private thoughts. Claire is now 92 and she wonders a few times whether anyone would still find her sexually attractive. Despite all the assumptions and prejudices about age, she still longs for sexual love, which comes across somehow as quite sweet.

It becomes clear over the course of the book that her marriage to Bill wasn't great, and that she's still working on processing that fact. Bill got together with her following a tragedy with his previous wife, and it seems he saw her as someone to look after rather than love as an equal. Their sex life wasn't great - Claire doesn't recall having an orgasm with him, although also thinks maybe that isn't quite fair. But as he was older, she didn't feel confident enough (or have the knowledge) to express what she really wanted sexually.

The descriptions of her sexual relationships with men, and the jealousies this provoked in some of her friends, are very readable. It's also a poignant tale of the loneliness that can grow as people age, and so many of the people who were in their lives have died. Claire thinks several times that she really misses Patricia, who was obviously a big influence and support for her.

We are left wondering about Bill, and whether Claire actually got some level of 'revenge' on him or not. It seems that as he grew ill he became more cantankerous, insulting Claire and putting her down.

There will be bits of Claire's experiences that will resonate with everyone, and it's interesting to read about her trying to process and comprehend her life, and decide how to interpret it. This is quite a poignant but hopeful book, and it was great to have an older person as the sole focus of an entire novel. I read it in just a couple of days, and would definitely recommend it.

This is my first experience of Vesna Main's work, I am eager to explore previous publications now. As the title suggests, as 92-year old Claire, waits for her lift to the party of a friend, her mind reflects and mulls over events of the past. The meandering journey this takes feels realistic, often she returns to the same scene a couple of times adding more / different details each time. The characters around her are brought to life and she replays events that touched them all. Absorbing, heartfelt and utterly wonderful.

**Book Review: _Waiting for a Party_ by Vesna Main**

_Vesna Main's_ _Waiting for a Party_ is a thought-provoking exploration of identity, displacement, and the longing for connection. Through sharp prose and a keen eye for detail, Main delves into the intricacies of cultural and personal narratives, capturing the complex emotions of those who find themselves on the periphery of society.

The novel’s strength lies in its vivid character portrayals and its ability to bring to life the often-unspoken realities of belonging and isolation. Main weaves a tapestry of poignant moments, showing how the wait for acceptance and understanding can be both universal and deeply personal. _Waiting for a Party_ is an evocative read that resonates long after the final page.

Goodness, Vesna Main sure can write. This is first piece of Literature (and that should certainly be with a capital L as it deserves to be classed as such) by Main that I have read, and as I was half way through I was already looking at her back catalogue for my next read. To say I was utterly absorbed is an understatement, her writing is just so beautiful and I felt connected to her characters as if I knew them personally.
This is a book narrated by Claire Meadows, whom we meet at 92 years young, preparing to go to a birthday party of a friend, Martin, aged 102. The book then meanders back and forth, reminiscing through Claire’s life and most intimate experiences. Through this form, we experience Claire’s marriage, friendships, relationships both conventional and unconventional, her loves, her sexual fantasies and sexual experiences (including her first sexual awakening at 62!). The writing is tender, frank, surprising, sensual, sometimes graphic, but always beautiful. It is a book that I know I will re read.
Thank you so much to NetGalley for an ARC - I feel honoured to have read this prior to publication.

On the lowest survey estimates, women think about sex ten times a day (about half as much as men) and Claire Meadows, who tells this story, seems to score above the average – although she is 92 years old!

The book is essentially a monologue about her life, while she waits to go to a party being held for her friend who is 102! The main event in the story, or perhaps the trigger for the rest of it, is her first real climax ten years after the death of her husband and the sexual experimentation which followed on from that. She has a flirty friend called Patricia who encourages her!

However, this is book about more than sex. It has a lot to say about how women’s lives at all levels are often managed by men, their past histories and social expectations. It’s clever because it isn’t an angry book about these things: they are just how it was.

It’s also entertaining in its descriptions of how things have evolved, often by chance, into a satisfactory life at 92. Claire has a family of a sort and good friends and, in that sense, it’s a celebration of life – even at that great age.

And, if you think that life ends at sixty, or even seventy, this story may make you think again!

An exceptional book, written in the voice of a 92 year old woman. Claire is waiting to be taken to the birthday party of a 102 year old friend. As she waits, her mind wanders to her marriage and subsequent romances after her husband Bill died.
Claire has a contemporary voice and the book doesn't come across as nostalgic ramblings. Instead, there are astute observations and learnings about relationships for us, the reader.
Claire married Bill, 20 years her senior, as a young woman, and their roles were very traditional. He constantly referred to her as "my dear, little Claire" and it's clear that as she reflects on the relationship, and what her friend Michael has since said, he didn't see her as an intellectual equal. She can't bring herself to criticise Bill so says that she says that he gave her the stability she needed, as an orphan. She doesn't talk much about being childless and how Bill had had a vasectomy after his child with his first wife died. Instead, she has "adopted" an adult man as her son, after they had an ill-fated fling.
Claire dives into relationships and one night stands after she is widowed, and is wistful that she won;t ever experience physical love or romance now she is in her 90s. "She has realised that regardless of age, everyone needs love, or, at least, everyone dreams of being loved. But when she considers that, the word yuck comes to mind and she admits to herself she would be ashamed to say the sentence about the need for love in front of anyone else for fear of sounding as a heroine from a pulp fiction novel. "
I loved the book and Main's writing. Thank you for bringing us a voice so clear and loud to our attention from an extraordinary generation.

The blurb got me with this one but I didn't know what to expect. This book is a moving, thought-provoking, raw and (at times) graphic reflection on life as a whole. Showcasing the many facets of a woman's life and her many roles, it explores how she is many things to many people but rarely all for herself. This isn't my kind of book, really, and I had to take my time with it, but it was beautifully written and will stay with me for a long time. I'm left remembering a dear friend who was already an elderly widow when we met - she was a complete and whole person as I knew her, and yet had lived many lives before I'd taken breath. The main characters in her story were memories before I had heard of them.

Just a really good book.