“Becoming the Pastor’s Wife is a necessary and informative read. Beth Allison Barr presents the ways women have led and ministered in churches, often if not always, putting their husband's needs and ministry first. Raised by a pastor's wife and being a pastor's wife myself, her work really hit home. She provides a positive argument for a paradigm shift for pastor's wives and any woman who feels called to minister. Thanks to NetGalley and publisher for the ARC. Pub Date: March 18, 2025.

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The first time I encountered author Beth Allison Barr, Dr. Barr, was not long before the world was introduced to "The Making of Biblical Womanhood," Barr's 2021 Brazos Press release that would shed light on and call out Christian patriarchy in a way that shook up evangelical circles and helped many, especially women, put words to long repressed faith experiences. In many ways, Dr. Barr took what many of us had simply accepted about our churches and proclaimed "This is not biblical."

And she backed it up.

I'd gotten to know Dr. Barr ever so briefly through social media, her social media presence resonated with me - a profoundly intelligent woman with an aura of traditional southern charm and a willingness to make cookies for her students and support her Baptist pastor husband all while deliberately yet respectfully tapping on the glass house known as the Southern Baptist Convention.

Truthfully, I couldn't help but like her and I absolutely learned from her even as I processed through my own challenging seminary experiences and struggles as a white male with significant disabilities trying, and often failing, to live into the ministry into which I've never had any doubt I was called.

But, it's hard to serve in ministry when people passionately believe, and often tell you, that your disability resulted from your own sin and/or the sin of your parents.

Sigh.

I worried about Dr. Barr, I can't deny it. In the days leading up to her book's release, I found myself wondering "Does she realize what she's gotten herself into?" It's a question it appears she even asked herself I discovered as I read through the pages of her latest release "Becoming the Pastor's Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as a Woman's Path to Ministry."

"The Making of Biblical Womanhood" was one of my favorite books in 2021-2022 and there's no doubt that "Becoming the Pastor's Wife" will be one of my favorite books of 2025.

Over the course of her journey with "The Making of Biblical Womanhood," I watched Dr. Barr with more than a little awe as she batted away the critics and powerfully, yet always respectfully, pointed the way toward a better way forward.

"Becoming the Pastor's Wife" weaves together a tapestry of rich humanity and academic expertise to trace the history of the role of the pastor's wife. It's a role Dr. Barr herself has had for twenty-five years during which she's lived with the assumptions about what she should do and who she should be even as she grew into her current role as James Vardaman Endowed Professor of History at Waco, Texas's Baylor University where she specializes in medieval history, women's history, and church history. This time around, I'd dare say that Dr. Barr writes with a self-assuredness that is an absolute delight in its confidence and wisdom as she draws upon her own experiences and that expertise to trace the history of the role of the pastor's wife. Dr. Barr brings forth how this important leadership role came at a cost - losing independent leadership opportunities that, as she documents powerfully, existed throughout most of church history and reinforced a growing gender hierarchy that prioritized the careers of men (especially spouses since churches nearly always prefer married men over single men). "Becoming the Pastor's Wife" examines this journey, drawing an undeniable connection between a decline in female ordination and the role of this "pastor's wife" in the evangelical church - the latter often being a submissive, supportive, and unpaid role always deferring to the male headship (Ugh. That was gross to even write.). Dr. Barr powerfully illustrates this journey through historical narratives, personal testimony, and past and present figures to help all of us, myself included, better understand the historical reality of ordained women.

If you know me, you already know that I am strongly in the Dr. Barr camp and have regularly sought out underrepresented pastors including women. I do what I can to support their ministries - whether it's attending services, reading books, going to workshops, or simply being sure that I use titles (Rev. or Dr. for example) rather than overly familiar language often based in gender stereotypes (like simply using a first name).

In "Becoming the Pastor's Wife," Dr. Barr is relentless in her passion and dedication to truth. Dr. Barr's work here is precise, absolutely clear, almost jarringly unflinching, and yet also filled with compassionate wisdom, uncommon pastoral care, and a soothing of the spiritual soul including an acute awareness of those looking for another way forward.

"Becoming the Pastor's Wife" challenged my own beliefs, assumptions, and knowledge while offering me the tools to understand and the grace to learn and grow. It will offer the same for you in a myriad of ways. Destined to be one of my favorite books for 2025, "Becoming the Pastor's Wife" captures both the historical realities and the infinite possibilities of how we can all live into a more Christ-centered church that insists on a new reality for women in ministry.